#i

You couldn't be satisfied with being an amateur asshole, could you, Jimbo! You had to go and turn pro on me! ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#police #humor

People are opportunities. The gift is in the interaction and the connection with another person, whether it lasts forever or not. ↗

— Colleen Seifert

#friendship

Men are not nearly as evolved as women are, nor as intelligent, evidently ↗

— Sarah MacLean

#humor #sarah-maclean #the-season #wit #humor

Harry Dresden. Saving the world, one act of random destruction at a time. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#heroism #humor #humor

But what about the End of the Universe? We'll miss the big moment." I've seen it. It's rubbish," said Zaphod,"nothing but a gnab gib." A what?" Opposite of a big bang. Come on, let's get zappy. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#science #humor

Hell's holy stars and freaking stones shit bells. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #humor

I will describe my eyes and then begin the story. My eyes are blue and resplendent. Now I will begin the story. ↗

— Jonathan Safran Foer

#humor #humor

Words are wind. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor

They can't tell so much about you if you got your eyes closed. ↗

— Ken Kesey

#philosophy #wisdom #humor

Now, the impact on export markets - we export about 10 percent of what we produce, so obviously that will probably have some impact on the market. At this point it's too early to determine how much. ↗

— Ann Veneman

#determine #early #export #how #impact