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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.


P. J. O'Rourke


#adult #deal #drink #fat #great

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.


P. J. O'Rourke


#assassinate #brief #character #death #election

There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.


P. J. O'Rourke


#comes #consequences #damn #duty #human

Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.


P. J. O'Rourke


#about #any #bright #catastrophe #feeling

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.


P. J. O'Rourke


#bought #buying #controlled #first #first things

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.


P. J. O'Rourke


#absolutely #absolutely nothing #behave #extraordinary #four

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.


P. J. O'Rourke


#die #good #look #make #middle

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.


P. J. O'Rourke


#champagne #enjoy #having #host #over

The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?


P. J. O'Rourke


#ashore #attack #because #bill #bill clinton

I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.


P. J. O'Rourke


#between #church #difference #evil #experience






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