#ian

He just raised the dead with coke and cheeseburgers ↗

— Rick Riordan

#nico #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #humor

He soon acquired the forlorn look that one sees in vegetarians. ↗

— Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

#vegetarianism #humor

Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth -- more than ruin, more even than death. Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habits; thought is anarchic and lawless, indifferent to authority, careless of the well-tried wisdom of the ages. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid ... Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man. ↗

— Bertrand Russell

#defiance #fearlessness #free-thinker #freedom #freedom-of-thought

We have our own language. Christianese... We don't say 'He's out of his mind,' no, we say 'That's our youth pastor. ↗

— Tim Hawkins

#humor #language #humor

You can't possibly ask me to go without having some dinner. It's absurd. I never go without my dinner. No one ever does, except vegetarians and people like that. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #vegetarianism #humor

I’d put a banana on my tray, too. That, at least, didn’t remind me of anything trying to kill me. Could you kill someone with a banana? It didn’t seem possible. Maybe a possessed banana. I’d seen possessed pets before, but not possessed fruit. But I’ll bet it’s out there somewhere. ↗

— Lili St. Crow

#humor #strange-angels #humor

Stand your ground!" Stheno yelled. "I've got free samples! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#euryale #gorgon #heroes-of-olympus #humor #medusa

Nate had been born and raised in British Columbia, and Canadians hate, above all things, to offend. It was part of the national consciousness. "Be polite" was an unwritten, unspoken rule, but ingrained into the psyche of an entire country. (Of course, as with any rule, there were exceptions: parts of Quebec, where people maintained the "dismissive to the point of confrontation, with subsequent surrender" mind-set of the French; and hockey, in which any Canadian may, with impunity, slam, pummel, elbow, smack, punch, body-check, and beat the shit out of, with sticks, any other human being, punctuated by profanities, name-calling, questioning parentage, and accusations of bestiality, usually-coincidentally- in French.) ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #whales #humor

Lissianna said, smacking Thomas in the arm. “What were you thinking? They don’t waltz here.” “I was thinking I didn’t want my uncle clasping my butt, and our chests rubbing together as he stepped on my feet while trying to shuffle me around the floor,” Thomas answered dryly. ↗

— Lynsay Sands

#lissianna #lucian #night-club #thomas #humor

The Christian notion of the possibility of redemption is incomprehensible to the computer. ↗

— Vance Packard

#computer #incomprehensible #notion #possibility #redemption