#id

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#breasts #having #large #makes #men

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#around #day #fake #gave #head

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#i #just #laugh #make #middle

I started taking ballet lessons when I was 4, and I was performing in ballet companies when I was 10, and I did summer stock in Miami Beach when I was 12, and finally I said, 'I gotta go to Broadway.' ↗

— Rita Rudner

#beach #broadway #companies #did #finally

Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#barbie #because #grow #grow up #identifying

Ever since I was a kid, I just loved those comedians on TV who would just have fun with the language. ↗

— Alan Rudolph

#ever #fun #have fun #i #just

Human identity is the most fragile thing that we have, and it's often only found in moments of truth. ↗

— Alan Rudolph

#fragile #fragile thing #human #identity #moments

I think that people who don't like kids are awful people. ↗

— Maya Rudolph

#i #i think #kids #like #people

I've been writing joke songs since I was a kid and it served me well at S.N.L. I can write those in my sleep. In fact, I have. ↗

— Maya Rudolph

#fact #i #i can #in fact #joke

If my time with my kids is shorter than it was yesterday, it's better than nothing. ↗

— Maya Rudolph

#kids #my time #nothing #shorter #than