#ill

His lordship may compel us to be equal upstairs, but there will never be equality in the servants hall. ↗

— James M. Barrie

#equal #equality #hall #his #lordship

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.' ↗

— Dave Barry

#achieved #full #had #human #human race

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. ↗

— Dave Barry

#circumstances #never #night #pill #same

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent. ↗

— Dave Barry

#always #miles #opportunity #prevailing #rain

Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything. ↗

— Dave Barry

#approximately #billion #located #miles #oregon

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it. ↗

— Dave Barry

#american consumers #any #consumers #fat #floor

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. ↗

— Lynda Barry

#exploding #love #love is #smoke #willingly

I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also. ↗

— Todd Barry

#bit #chilled #enjoyed #i #kangaroo

My therapist says I still haven't got in touch with my anger. Maybe one day I'm going to explode. But I'm still really happy. I know it looks like a strange and painful upbringing - all those experiences led me to the paths that I'm on now. ↗

— Drew Barrymore

#day #experiences #explode #going #got

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere. ↗

— John Barrymore

#girl #go #her #kind #mother