#in

Has she glanced you way yet?" Twice," Nick said on a note of satisfaction. Meaning?" Nick glanced at him. "She's not completely disinterested." I see Moreland. That makes it an even half dozen hanging out for a rich wife. Four looking for their second. Rossman, the old satyr, certainly isn't likely to be much competition. What in the hell does he think he's doing anyway? He must be sixty." Basking, I should think. She hasn't given him the cold shoulder yet," Nick responded coolly. ↗

— Jaide Fox

#courting #humor #romance #humor

Gwen: It's not going to work. Paul: Pardon me? Gwen: Cinderella's not going to sleep with you because you're taking the ugly stepsister to the ball. She'll still make you wait. ↗

— Jo Leigh

#humor #romance #humor

I just peed in the sink. Why? Because there was already somebody in the bathtub.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bathtub #humor #pee #sink #humor

I want to fly! I want to touch the sun!" "Finish your eggs first. ↗

— Lorraine Hansberry

#humor #inspirational #humor

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson ↗

— Matt Groening

#homer-simpson #humor #matt-groening #simpons #humor

I was glad to be rid of him. He was one of those people who could go to New York and be "fascinating," but here in his own world he was just a cheap functionary, and a dull one at that. ↗

— Hunter S. Thompson

#irritating #poseurs #humor

It's Good, Wise And Worth Doing And It's Real - Work For Things After Life ↗

— Believers

#inspirational

We want to fight.” “And I want J.K. Rowling to keep writing in the Potterverse, but I know that’s never going to happen,” I said blithely. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fallen-legion #fantasy #fiction #humor #j-k-rowling

He's attracted to the smell of manure," Felicity says. "You might wallow in the stables to bring out the full flower of his love. ↗

— Libba Bray

#humor #libba-bray #rebel-angels #humor

Have you ever kissed anybody?" he asked and took a sip. I smirked. "There aren't a whole lot of opportunitiesin the digital world. I did practice on my hand once. It didn't do anything for me". Justin coughed on the water he was swallowing and I slapped my hand over my mouth. "Did I just say that aloud?" I mumbled. He was half coughing, half laughing. "Yes, you did", he managed to say. ↗

— Katie Macvinsky

#humor #maddie-and-justin #humor