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Love does not traffic in a marketplace, nor use a huckster's scales. Its joy, like the joy of the intellect, is to feel itself alive. The aim of Love is to love: no more, and no less. You were my enemy: such an enemy as no man ever had. I had given you all my life, and to gratify the lowest and most contemptible of all human passions, hatred and vanity and greed, you had thrown it away. In less than three years you had entirely ruined me in every point of view. For my own sake there was nothing for me to do but to love you. ↗
I ended my first book with the words 'no answer.' I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice? Only words, words; to be led out to battle against other words. ↗
But just as we can all agree on what is red, even if we will never know if we each see it in the same way, so we can all agree - can’t we? - that no matter how confident we may appear to others, inside we are all sobbing, scared and uncertain for much of the time. Or perhaps it’s just me. Oh God, perhaps it really is just me. Actually it doesn’t really matter, when you come to think of it. If it is just me, then you are reading the story of some weird freak. You are free to treat this book like science fiction, fantasy or exotic travel literature. Are there really men like Stephen Fry on this planet? Goodness, how alien some people are. And if I am not alone, then neither are you, and hand in hand we can marvel together at the strangeness of the human condition. ↗
Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up. As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean. He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?" The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean." "I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man. To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die." Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!" At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one. ↗
Why does each thing on the earth war against each other thing? Why does each small thing in the world have to fight against the world itself? Why does a fly have to fight the whole universe? Why does a dandelion have to fight the whole universe? For the same reason that I had to be alone in the dreadful Council of the Days. So that each thing that obeys law may have the glory and isolation of the anarchist. So that each man fighting for order may be as brave and good a man as the dynamiter. So that the real lie of Satan may be flung back in the face of this blasphemer, so that by tears and torture we may earn the right to say to this man, 'You lie!' No agonies can be too great to buy the right to say to this accuser, 'We also have suffered. ↗
هذه رسالة ماركيز الأخيرة لمحبيه وأصدقائه من علي فراش المرض "لو شاء الله.. أن يهبني شيئا من حياة أخرى فسوف أستثمرها بكل قواي. ربما لن أقول كل ما أفكر به لكنى حتما سأفكر في كل ما سأقوله. سأمنح الأشياء قيمتها، لا لما تمثله، بل لما تعنيه. سأنام قليلا، وأحلم كثيرا، مدركا أن كل لحظة نغلق فيها أعيننا تعنى خسارة ستين ثانية من النور. سأسير فيما يتوقف الآخرون، وسأصحو فيما الكل نيام.. لو شاء ربى أن يهبني حياة أخرى، فسأرتدي ملابس بسيطة وأستلقي على الأرض، لا عاري الجسد فحسب، وإنما عاري الروح أيضا. سأبرهن للناس كم يخطئون عندما يعتقدون أنهم لن يكونوا عشاقا متى شاخوا، دون أن يدروا أنهم يشيخون إذا توقفوا عن العشق. وتابع يقول: "للطفل سأعطى الأجنحة، لكنى سأدعه يتعلم التحليق وحده، وللكهول سأعلمهم أن الموت لا يأتي مع الشيخوخة بل بفعل النسيان، لقد تعلمت منكم الكثير أيها البشر.. تعلمت أن الجميع يريد العيش في قمة الجبل غير مدركين أن سر السعادة تكمن في تسلقه. تعلمت أن المولود الجديد حين يشد على إصبع أبيه للمرة الأولى فذلك يعنى أنه أمسك بها إلى الأبد. تعلمت أن الإنسان يحق له أن ينظر من فوق إلى الآخر، فقط حين يجب أن يساعده على الوقوف، تعلمت منكم أشياء كثيرة! لكن قلة منها ستفيدني، لأنها عندما ستوضع في حقيبتي أكون أودع الحياة. قل دائما ما تشعر به وأفعل ما تفكر فيه.. لو كنت أعرف أنها المرة الأخيرة التي أراك فيها نائمة، لضممتك بقوة بين ذراعي ولتضرعت إلى الله أن يجعلني حارسا لروحك. لو كنت أعرف أنها الدقائق الأخيرة التي أراك فيها، لقلت "أحبك"، ولتجاهلت - بخجل - أنك تعرفين ذلك. واستطرد: "هناك دوما غدا، والحياة تمنحنا الفرصة لنفعل الأفضل، لكن لو أنى مخطئ وهذا هو يومي الأخير، أحب أن أقول كم أحبك، وأنني لن أنساك أبدا. لأن الغد ليس مضمونا، لا للشاب ولا للعجوز. ربما تكون في هذا اليوم المرة الأخيرة التي ترى فيها أولئك الذين تحبهم. فلا تنتظر أكثر، تصرف اليوم لأن الغد قد لا يأتي، ولابد أن تندم على اليوم الذي لم تجد فيه الوقت من أجل ابتسامة أو عناق أو قبلة أو أنك كنت مشغولا كي ترسل لهم أمنية أخيرة. حافظ بقربك على من تحب، اهمس في أذنهم بأنك بحاجة إليهم، أحببهم واهتم بهم، وخذ ما يكفى من الوقت لتقول لهم عبارات مثل: أفهمك، سامحني، من فضلك، شكرا، وكل كلمات الحب التي تعرفها. لن يتذكرك أحد من أجل ما تضمر من أفكار، فأطلب من الرب القوة والحكمة للتعبير عنها. وبرهن لأصدقائك ولأحبائك كم هم مهمون لديك". ↗
Don't believe everything you read. It's very difficult to be accepting of our own bodies. This topic deserves it's own book, but since I'm not qualified to write it, I won't. Instead I'll just say this: The pictures staring out at you from the supermarket checkout stands, the images we are all supposed to aspire to? They lie ↗
Yeah, but what does that even mean... heaven? Because see, I need to be able to put him somewhere, Zo. In my head, I mean. I need to be able to close my eyes and picture him and know he's okay. And just saying the word heaven doesn't help that much. Because like what is heaven, exactly? And where is it? And what do you do there? ↗
— This world is full of trouble, umfundisi. — Who knows it better? — Yet you believe? Kumalo looked at him under the light of the lamp. I believe, he said, but I have learned that it is a secret. Pain and suffering, they are a secret. Kindness and love, they are a secret. But I have learned that kindness and love can pay for pain and suffering. There is my wife, and you, my friend, and these people who welcomed me, and the child who is so eager to be with us here in Ndotsheni – so in my suffering I can believe. — I have never thought that a Christian would be free of suffering, umfundisi. For our Lord suffered. And I come to believe that he suffered, not to save us from suffering, but to teach us how to bear suffering. For he knew that there is no life without suffering. Kumalo looked at his friend with joy. You are a preacher, he said. ↗
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