#is

Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#comical #humor #humorist #humorous #philisophical

Tell them I have the headache--no, the plague! I need something nice and contagious. ↗

— Lauren Willig

#humorous-quotations #mystery #humor

It's a token for the arcade games at Laser Sport Time!" Dan hissed. "Uncle Alistair doesn't think so," Amy murmured. "He's a numismatist." "He takes his clothes off in public?" Dan said. ↗

— Peter Lerangis

#dan-cahill #humor #numismatist #humor

When you're here, I'm there for you. And when you're there, I'm here for you.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#direction #here #humor #love #noncommittal

If he’ll let me. But he left the hospital without talking to me. I don’t know what that means.”Screw that. “Yes, of course I’ll see him again. Isaiah and I are friends and he’s going to realize that evenif I have to take a two-by-four to him. ↗

— Katie McGarry

#friendship #humor #isaiah #friendship

So, let's make a deal: If you do not voice all the withering comments about the weight or uselessness of this jacket that are no doubt swirling in that big brain of yours, then I will not mention the super-laser episode again. Agreed?" This jacket is really cutting into my shoulders, thought Artemis. And it's so heavy that I could not outrun a slug. But he said, "Agreed. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#butler #humor #humor

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#control-freaks #control-issues #cynic #cynical #cynical-humor

...When a man first awakens, it sometimes takes several moments before he starts thinking clearly." "And here I thought it took several years, perhaps a lifetime for the average man's intellect to kick in. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#gwen #humor #intellect #karen-marie-moning #kiss-of-the-highlander

It is simple impertinence for any man, or any body of men, to begin, or to contemplate, reform of the whole world. ↗

— Mahatma Gandhi

#men

The Angel Gabriel disappeared once for sixty years and they found him on earth hiding in the body of a man named Miles Davis. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #jazz #miles-davis #humor