#jo

But-let me tell you my cat joke. It's very short and simple. A hostess is giving a dinner party and she's got a lovely five-pound T-bone steak sitting on the sideboard in the kitchen waiting to be cooked while she chats with the guests in the living room-has a few drinks and whatnot. But then she excuses herself to go into the kitchen to cook the steak-and it's gone. And there's the family cat, in the corner, sedately washing it's face." "The cat got the steak," Barney said. "Did it? The guests are called in; they argue about it. The steak is gone, all five pounds of it; there sits the cat, looking well-fed and cheerful. "Weigh the cat," someone says. They've had a few drinks; it looks like a good idea. So they go into the bathroom and weigh the cat on the scales. It reads exactly five pounds. They all perceive this reading and a guest says, "okay, that's it. There's the steak." They're satisfied that they know what happened, now; they've got empirical proof. Then a qualm comes to one of them and he says, puzzled, "But where's the cat? ↗

— Philip K. Dick

#joke #ontology #family

I can see the humorous side of things and enjoy the fun when it comes; but look where I will, there seems to me always more sadness than joy in life. ↗

— Jerome K. Jerome

#comes #enjoy #fun #humorous #i

I remember times when I was at shows and the person onstage locked eyes with me. And in that moment, everything was right with the world. I think that's part of my job, to create these thousands of moments every night. And for the rest of their life, they can say, 'You guys looked at me,' or 'You sweated on me,' or 'I got your gum.' ↗

— Joan Jett

#every #every night #everything #eyes #got

In 1989, I was on Tiananmen Square with the students, living in their makeshift tents and joining their jubilant singing of the Internationale. In the two decades since, each time that I have gone back, visions from those days seem to return with increasing persistence. ↗

— Ma Jian

#days #decades #each #gone #i

After the United States entered the war, I joined the Naval Reserve and spent ninety days in a Columbia University dormitory learning to be a naval officer. ↗

— James Tobin

#columbia #columbia university #days #entered #i

China has adopted and is implementing its national climate change program. This includes mandatory national targets for reducing energy intensity and discharge of major pollutants and increasing forest coverage and the share of renewable energy for the period of 2005 through 2010. ↗

— Hu Jintao

#change #china #climate #climate change #coverage

Our DNA is as a consumer company - for that individual customer who's voting thumbs up or thumbs down. That's who we think about. And we think that our job is to take responsibility for the complete user experience. And if it's not up to par, it's our fault, plain and simply. ↗

— Steve Jobs

#company #complete #consumer #customer #dna

Michael Jordan always wore his Carolina shorts under his Bulls' uniform. ↗

— Lorrie Fair

#bulls #carolina #his #jordan #michael

As Elton John, my days on pop radio are over, and I know that and I accept it and I'm not unhappy about it. ↗

— Elton John

#accept #days #elton #elton john #i

Liberty is to the collective body, what health is to every individual body. Without health no pleasure can be tasted by man; without liberty, no happiness can be enjoyed by society. ↗

— Henry St. John

#body #collective #enjoyed #every #happiness