#humorous

He'd never asked for an exciting life. What he really liked, what he sought on every occasion, was boredom. The trouble was that boredom tended to explode in your face. Just when he thought he'd found it he'd be suddenly involved in what he supposed other people - thoughtless, feckless people - would call an adventure. And he'd be forced to visit many strange lands and meet exotic and colourful people, although not for very long because usually he'd be running. He'd seen the creation of the universe, although not from a good seat, and had visited Hell and the afterlife. He'd been captured, imprisoned, rescued, lost and marooned. Sometimes it had all happened on the same day. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humorous #humor

Imogen was a bright girl naturally, but she had read so many novels that her brain was completely turned. ↗

— Susan Coolidge

#reading #family

I’ve had a lot of food but if you don’t jiggle me too much you can have your wicked way with me. ↗

— Samantha Young

#food

How beautiful would history have been if it could be written beforehand and then acted out like drama! ↗

— Aihebholo-oria Okonoboh

#inspirational-life #beauty

I need some kind of... like... last minute, poorly-set-up deus ex machina!! ↗

— Bryan Lee O'Malley

#humor

She looked like a head-on collision between a fashion plate and a nightmare. ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#humor

Note to self-give serious thought to becoming an alcoholic. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humor

I jerk around and see Sister Dora, a portly woman who's the head cook in the kitchen, staring daggers at me. This is nothing new. She stares daggers at everyone who walks through the lunch line holding a tray, as though our needing sustenance is a personal affront. ↗

— Pittacus Lore

#humor

You've got better boobs," i acknowledged. And just as we'd done each time we'd had this boobs-versus-legs conversation, we looked down at our chests. Ogled. Compared. ↗

— Chloe Neill

#humor

If you had a piece of coal, we could hold her down, shove it up her ass, and come collect a big, fat diamond in a few days. ↗

— M. Leighton

#humor