#humorous

A clever, imagination, humorous request can open closed doors and closed minds. ↗

— Percy Ross

#closed #doors #humorous #imagination #minds

So where does the name Adam's apple come from? Most people say that it is from the notion that this bump was caused by the forbidden fruit getting stuck in the throat of Adam in the Garden of Eden. There is a problem with this theory because some Hebrew scholars believe that the forbidden fruit was the pomegranate. The Koran claims that the forbidden fruit was a banana. So take your pick---Adam's apple, Adam's pomegranate, Adam's banana. Eve clearly chewed before swallowing. ↗

— Mark Leyner

#funny #humorous #irony #relationships #funny

Yeah 220, 221 whatever it takes!" Michael Keaton character in "Mr. Mom ↗

— Mark Buff

#funny-humor #humor #humorous #funny

If a child shows himself to be incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate his kind. ↗

— Don Marquis

#humorous #incorrigible #age

The beauty of the ultrasound scan is something that only parents can appreciate, but Emma had seen these things before and knew what was required of her. ‘Beautiful,’ she sighed, though in truth it could have been a Polaroid of the inside of his pocket. ↗

— David Nicholls

#beauty

Somebody has to be sane during regular business hours, and it's not going to be me, missy. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#business

Liberace was certainly master and commander of the ivories ~ he is the only pianist I can watch or listen to without suffering a case of 'Stagefright Sympathy Sickness'. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#concerts #entertainers #entertainment #funny #gifted-people

You have exactly 10 seconds to change that look of disgusting pity, into one of enormous respect! ↗

— Max Bialystock

#change

Tanith frowned. Did people still go on DATES any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she'd been on. The last PROPER date. Did fighting side by side with Saracen Rue count as a date? They ended up snuggling under the moonlight, drenched in gore and pieces of brain - so it had PROBABLY been a date. If it wasn't, it was certainly a fun time had by all. Well, not ALL. But she and Saracen had sure had a blast. ↗

— Derek Landy

#dating #flings #gore #humor #humorous

I'm dating myself, but this was before Jesus Christ. We worshiped a God named Sashatiba, who had five eyes, including one on the Adam's apple. ↗

— David Sedaris

#religion #dating