#humorous

I suspect he's sweet on Sophie and doesn't like to see her work too hard.' Tessa was glad to hear it. She'd felt awful about her reaction to Sophie's scar, and the thought that Sophie had a male admirer - and a handsome one like that- eased her conscience slightly. 'Perhaps he's in love with Agatha', she said. 'I hope not. I intend to marry Agatha myself. She may be a thousand years old, but she makes an incomparable jam tart. Beauty fades, but cooking is eternal. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clockwork-angel #glib #humorous #infenal-devices #jam

I'm hoping you end up happily married to the man of your dreams and have a hoard of beautiful kids that'll keep you on your toes by turning your neighbours into various types of pond-life." He then shot her his signature grin. "But if it happens to be me, then I wouldn't say no." (Karl to Elena in The Witching Pen) ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#elena #humor #humorous #karl #paranormal-romance

...I gotta burn these scales... sigh* ↗

— Hiroko Sakai

#funny #humorous #scale #weight #diet

The front door swung open, and Zsadist strode into the house. Wrath glared. "Nice of you to show up, Z. Busy tonight with the females?" "How about you get off my dick? ↗

— J.R. Ward

#business

How come I have too many things to do all the time...?? ↗

— Hiroko Sakai

#funny #humorous #time #business

She decided that if Lucas was gay then she was going to have to get a sex change operation. He would be so worth it. ↗

— Josephine Angelini

#humorous #young-adult #change

(About sweeping).... What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humorous #ironic #irony #laughable #change

There were two books I remember changing my life as a introverted, bookish 14 year old. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand and The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien. One was set in a fantastic world, populated by outlandish characters,tired prose, foul monsters, evil incarnate and a message about losing one's humanity. The other book was about hobbits. ↗

— Christopher Odell Homsley

#change

While a kind man was working up the nerve to ask me on a date, I was working up the nerve to kill him with my bare hands ↗

— Amy McAuley

#dating

[Like they say,] small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. ↗

— Dave Courtney

#death