#humorous

I guess he believes if a lie is big enough and repeated often enough, it will be believed. ↗

— John McCain

#mccain-lies #political #humor

Ease off the martyr throttle. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor

I would never have broken up with you," I said earnestly. "I'm more miserable without you than I am with you." As soon as that sentence came out I groaned, because I knew how bad it sounded. But Declan laughed. "Vintage Simon Murray comment. ↗

— Sean Kennedy

#humor

Two kinds of people always lie about their ages: actresses and Latin American pitchers. ↗

— Jess Walter

#age

A word to the wise an't nesisary its the stupid ones who need the edvise. ↗

— Eliga H. Gould

#age

Romeo, o Romeo, wherefore art thou o Romeo? ↗

— William Shakespeare

#art

I suspect he's sweet on Sophie and doesn't like to see her work too hard.' Tessa was glad to hear it. She'd felt awful about her reaction to Sophie's scar, and the thought that Sophie had a male admirer - and a handsome one like that- eased her conscience slightly. 'Perhaps he's in love with Agatha', she said. 'I hope not. I intend to marry Agatha myself. She may be a thousand years old, but she makes an incomparable jam tart. Beauty fades, but cooking is eternal. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clockwork-angel #glib #humorous #infenal-devices #jam

(About sweeping).... What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humorous #ironic #irony #laughable #change

There were two books I remember changing my life as a introverted, bookish 14 year old. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand and The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien. One was set in a fantastic world, populated by outlandish characters,tired prose, foul monsters, evil incarnate and a message about losing one's humanity. The other book was about hobbits. ↗

— Christopher Odell Homsley

#change

While a kind man was working up the nerve to ask me on a date, I was working up the nerve to kill him with my bare hands ↗

— Amy McAuley

#dating