#humorous

There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere. ↗

— Mose Allison

#humorous #joke #jokes #mine #most

A friend told me that one day he and I would be rich and famous. I told him that I'd trade my half of the fame, for his half of the money. ↗

— Quentin R. Bufogle

#humorous #money #money

Years ago there was an old man I knew that told me he didn't trust me, because people with beards were hiding from something. I told him, "That's true, I'm hiding from the barber!! ↗

— Neil Leckman

#life-and-living #life

You’ll be dethroned faster than a coke snorting beauty queen. ↗

— Eric Luper

#beauty

There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

I've always worried a lot. And frankly I'm good at it." The late Erma Bombeck, one of the funniest women ever. ↗

— Catherine Robertson

#life

You got off on the wrong foot. I merely watched you shove it into your mouth. ↗

— Sabrina Jeffries

#men

He’s an even-tempered stallion. What he lacks in stamina he makes up for in speed, kind of like most of the men I’ve slept with. ↗

— Lila Shaw

#naughty-humor #men

If the ties that bind ever do come loose If forever ever ends for you If that ring gets a little too tight You might as well read me my last rights. ↗

— The Band Perry

#music-lyrics #relationships #music

Well,' said Mrs. Erdleigh, speaking kindly, as if to a child who has proposed a game inevitably associated with the breakage of china, 'I know trouble will come of it if we do. ↗

— Anthony Powell

#music