#humorous

I like fish," chirruped Tunstell. "Really, Mr. Tunstell? What is your preferred breed?" "Well"--Tunstell hesitated--"you know, the um, ones that"--he made a swooping motion with both hands--"uh, swim. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#humor

He also deeply distrusts vampires, as you had guessed yourself,” Bones added. “Aside from that, all I heard was enough repetitions of ‘how many chucks could a woodchuck chuck’ to make me want to stake myself. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#funny-as-hell #humorous #one-grave-at-a-time #funny

Cross.” His head popped up a few shelves over. “What?” “Check out the magic crap.” He shot me a look. “Oh, is that what we’re supposed to be doing? Because I’ve just been drawing hearts and our initials in the dirt.” Sophie + Archer ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor

If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave. ↗

— Mo Willems

#humor #humorous #philosophy #psychology #humor

He soon acquired the forlorn look that one sees in vegetarians. ↗

— Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

#vegetarianism #humor

I'm an American, our names don't mean shit. ↗

— Quentin Tarantino

#humorous-quotations #humor

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience - well, that comes from poor judgment. ↗

— A.A. Milne

#humorous-quotations #judgment #experience

But the three siblings were not born yesterday. Violet was born more than fifteen years before this particular Wednesday, and Klaus was born approximately two years after that, and even Sunny who had just passed out of babyhood, was not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case, welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor

Gideon laughed. "I like to be direct." "Okay," I said. "But I warn you, I like to be evasive, inserutable and generally send mixed messages." "I doubt it." "Human interaction is not my strong point," I told him. "Not seriously." "Seriously," I said. Thinking: There is so much about me he doesn't know. Gideon put his hand on my leg. "What's your strong point, then?" "Goats," I told him. "I am excellent with goats. ↗

— E. Lockhart

#chicklit #cute #humor #humorous #humour

There were pecans, there were cashews and then there was just plain nuts. ↗

— Mary Hughes

#crazy #humor #humorous-quote #nuts #love