#humorous

For people who like that kind of thing, this is the kind of thing they like. ↗

— Max Beerbohm

#misattributed-abraham-lincoln #humor

This guy had more lines than loose-leaf. ↗

— Cara Lynn Shultz

#humor

My dad had once told me, crimson-red deep in “the talk,” that with sons, all he had to worry about was one penis, but with a daughter, he had to worry about everyone else’s. ↗

— Nicole Williams

#parents-and-children #the-sex-talk #humor

Being here? With you? I've met my subconscious, and he's not that sick. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor

Just because you’re allowed to use magic now you don’t have to whip your wands out for every tiny little thing! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So thanks to me you're all standing on land." (Pirates, its a good thing they're idiots) ↗

— Dave Barry

#humor

I`m basically one of the best people I know. ↗

— Jeff Kinney

#humor

Shut up, you fool...Really. I’m running out of things to throw at you. ↗

— K.M. Parr

#humor

Does my grandma count as a bodyguard? ↗

— Holly Hood

#humor

I don't think I'd want Mickey Mouse pimping for me anyway. ↗

— Haruki Murakami

#humour #humor