#humorous

I love sharing my stories and experiences with people and connecting to them on both a humorous and emotional level. ↗

— Tori Spelling

#connecting #emotional #emotional level #experiences #humorous

Jericho stopped him before he left. He slid the ring off his finger and handed it to him. "Take this." Asmodeus curled his lip as he shrank back from it. "I'm not about to marry your ugly ass, boy. No offense, but you ain't my type. I like my dates with less body hair... and with female parts attached by nature." Jericho let out an aggravated growl. "It's not a wedding ring, asshole. It's Berith's ring. You get into trouble you can summon him to help you get out of there." That completely changed his attitude. "Oh, hey, that could be worth an engagement to you." Asmodeus grinned as he palmed it. "If I'm back in a few hours... well, I don't want to think about that. I might change my mind about doing this. I'm thinking happy thoughts. Creamed dog innards and rotten steak. Yeah. Yum." He vanished. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humor #humorous #attitude

I suspect he's sweet on Sophie and doesn't like to see her work too hard.' Tessa was glad to hear it. She'd felt awful about her reaction to Sophie's scar, and the thought that Sophie had a male admirer - and a handsome one like that- eased her conscience slightly. 'Perhaps he's in love with Agatha', she said. 'I hope not. I intend to marry Agatha myself. She may be a thousand years old, but she makes an incomparable jam tart. Beauty fades, but cooking is eternal. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clockwork-angel #glib #humorous #infenal-devices #jam

I'm hoping you end up happily married to the man of your dreams and have a hoard of beautiful kids that'll keep you on your toes by turning your neighbours into various types of pond-life." He then shot her his signature grin. "But if it happens to be me, then I wouldn't say no." (Karl to Elena in The Witching Pen) ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#elena #humor #humorous #karl #paranormal-romance

...I gotta burn these scales... sigh* ↗

— Hiroko Sakai

#funny #humorous #scale #weight #diet

The front door swung open, and Zsadist strode into the house. Wrath glared. "Nice of you to show up, Z. Busy tonight with the females?" "How about you get off my dick? ↗

— J.R. Ward

#business

Holidays were invented so single women could overeat without feeling guilty. ↗

— Elizabeth Jane Howard

#humorous-quotes #diet

When you fall asleep after a big lunch you're really just saving up energy to work off all the calories later on. ↗

— Elizabeth Jane Howard

#exercises #humorous-quotes #diet

And if anyone asks, you're Chinese. The boy had nodded. "Chinese," he whispered. "I'm Chinese." "And I," said the girl, "am the Queen of Spain." "In your dreams," said the boy. "In my dreams," said the girl, "I'm the King. ↗

— Julie Otsuka

#thought-provoking #dreams

Men always want to be a woman’s first love. That is their clumsy vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about these things. What (women) like is to be a man’s last romance. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor