#humorous

Every gay man out there has at least one man-crush in his past that totally shriveled his nads into raisins and sent him screaming off into the night. ↗

— T.A. Webb

#humor

I like fish," chirruped Tunstell. "Really, Mr. Tunstell? What is your preferred breed?" "Well"--Tunstell hesitated--"you know, the um, ones that"--he made a swooping motion with both hands--"uh, swim. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#humor

He also deeply distrusts vampires, as you had guessed yourself,” Bones added. “Aside from that, all I heard was enough repetitions of ‘how many chucks could a woodchuck chuck’ to make me want to stake myself. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#funny-as-hell #humorous #one-grave-at-a-time #funny

Cross.” His head popped up a few shelves over. “What?” “Check out the magic crap.” He shot me a look. “Oh, is that what we’re supposed to be doing? Because I’ve just been drawing hearts and our initials in the dirt.” Sophie + Archer ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor

If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave. ↗

— Mo Willems

#humor #humorous #philosophy #psychology #humor

He soon acquired the forlorn look that one sees in vegetarians. ↗

— Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

#vegetarianism #humor

I'm an American, our names don't mean shit. ↗

— Quentin Tarantino

#humorous-quotations #humor

There is a tale...It tells of the days when a blight hung over our land. Nothing prospered. Nothing flourished. Not even zucchini would grow. ↗

— Cameron Dokey

#humorous #humor

When does he ever think?" Richard straddled a chair and accepted a wind cup from Raoul. "If he were to sell his brain, he could claim it had never been used.", Chapter 7 ↗

— Sharon Kay Penman

#humor

Leandros's favorite place had turned out not to be vegetarian, but vegan, which was for people who preferred their suicide slow. ↗

— Rob Thurman

#humor