#humorous

There were, however, a few exceptions. One was Norma Dodsworth, the poet, who had not unpleasantly drunk but had been sensible enough to pass out before any violent action proved necessary. He had been deposited, not very gently, on the lawn, where it was hoped that a hyena would give him a rude awakening. For all practical purposes he could, therefore, be regarded as absent. ↗

— Arthur C. Clarke

#drink #drunk #funny #humorous #funny

Scrawny little mundane bastard. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Jane: "Look, Dave Chandler left me on the ninth floor of our university research library without my panties after we lost our virginity together. He never called me again and actually turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction whenever he saw me on campus. Unless you're going to do that, I don't think were gonna have a problem. Gabriel?" Gabriel: "Sorry. Something strange happened inside my head when you said the word "panties". The overwhelming urge to kill Dave Chandler combined with a simultaneous loss of blood to the brain. ↗

— Molly Harper

#humorous #jane #vampire #humor

literally: This word should be deleted. All too often, actions described as “literally” did not happen at all. As in, “He literally jumped out of his skin.” No, he did not. Though if he literally had, I’d suggest raising the element and proposing the piece for page one. Inserting “literally” willy-nilly reinforces the notion that breathless nitwits lurk within this newsroom. Eliminate on sight—the usage, not the nitwits. The nitwits are to be captured ↗

— Tom Rachman

#pedantic #humor

When I need some striking inspiration about deep depression for my new painting, I just need to go to check my bank account... ↗

— Hiroko Sakai

#bank-account #depression #funny #humorous #inspiration

You gotta want it. ↗

— Bill Murray

#humorous #inspirational #inspirational

Always take a compliment, even if it’s not yours ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#humour #life #love #philosophical #relationships

His attention caught, her companion raised his eyes from the book which lay open beside him on the table and directed them upon her in a look of aloof enquiry. 'What's that? Did you say something to me, Venetia?' 'Yes, love,' responded his sister cheerfully, 'but it wasn't of the least consequence, and in any event I answered for you. You would be astonished, I daresay, if you knew what interesting conversations I enjoy with myself. ↗

— Georgette Heyer

#intelligent-conversation #intelligence

Any good broadcast, not just an Olympic broadcast, should have texture to it. It should have information, should have some history, should have something that's offbeat, quirky, humorous, and where called for it, should have journalism, and judiciously it should also have commentary. That's my ideal. ↗

— Bob Costas

#any #broadcast #called #commentary #good

But when they offered this little situation for me to do this voice in this special segment, I found it so incredibly humorous that I said yes, and I enjoyed it. It was fun. ↗

— Werner Klemperer

#found #fun #humorous #i #incredibly