#humorous

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#funny-as-hell #funny-but-sad #funny-but-true #funny-humor #hilarious

Hold up. How do you accidentally have sex with somebody?” Adina scoffed. “Is she all, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see your penis there’? ↗

— Libba Bray

#beauty

-"He loved her...It was noble of him. It was beautiful." -"It was stupid. ↗

— Lloyd Alexander

#comedy #comical #funny #humor #humorous

To-morrow I will begin," thought Katy, as she dropped asleep that night. How often we all do so! And what a pity it is that when morning comes and to-morrow is to-day, we so frequently wake up feeling quite differently; careless or impatient, and not a bit inclined to do the fine things we planned overnight. ↗

— Susan Coolidge

#procrastinating #family

I wanted to do an hour-long show, and I wanted to something that was dramatic and sometimes funny and humorous, as well. I'm just delighted to have this opportunity to be a part of this project. ↗

— Ron Glass

#dramatic #funny #humorous #i #just

I mean, shit, what Latino family doesn't think it's cursed? ↗

— Junot Díaz

#family

Only love will attract love.”~ Amunhotep El Bey ↗

— Amunhotep El Bey

#funny #humorous-quotations #inspirational-quotations #lol #motivational-quotations

I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation. ↗

— W. Somerset Maugham

#conduct #frame #humorous #i #i can

Skulduggery stood among the ruins of what had once been a sofa. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. 'I was trying to make up the sofa bed so you could get some rest,' he explained, and pointed to the second sofa across the room. 'Unfortunately, it would appear that that is the sofa bed, and this, apparently, is just a sofa. ↗

— Derek Landy

#furniture #humor #humorous #mistakes #death

-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#funny-and-random #humor #humorous #satire #wit