#humorous

None are so busy as the fool and knave. ↗

— John Dryden

#business

How bad could things be if my hair was neat? ↗

— Jeff Lindsay

#dreams

Chip did not believe in having a shock drawer or a T-shirt drawer. He believed that all drawers were created equal and each with whatever fit. ↗

— John Green

#equality

yes, i have dated Salvador Dali guy when i was a high school girl. he was a great lover. but i had to dump him because he stole my inspiration of bent clock*~* .... who cares... ↗

— Hiroko Sakai

#artwork #bent-clock #funny #humorous #painting

May we do it again? She sounds remarkably bright and cheerful. 'And I didn't bleed. My mother said I would experience great agony.' 'Half an hour.' 'I beg your pardon? Your mumbling.' Eyes closed, I attempt to enunciate a little more clearly. 'In half an hour or so. Probably. And your mother was misinformed.' 'What am I suppose to do in the meantime?' 'Oh. Read a Sermon. Embroider something ↗

— Janet Mullany

#experience

A Man can Live two Weeks without Food, go two days without Water, and two minutes without Air, and apparently, an entire lifetime without a BRAIN. ↗

— Walter Thomas Jr

#food

Vegtables, what food eats before it becomes food. ↗

— David Weber

#food

When the watermelons were as large as a child's head, the women boiled them, but they collapsed into a tasteless green mush that no one could eat, not the children, not the cow. ↗

— Annie Proulx

#historical #humorous #mistakes #food

Locavore?" But before he could answer, I figured it out. "Someone who eats food produced locally? As opposed to locovore, someone who eats crazy people? ↗

— Mari Donne

#food

As soon as a friendship passed a certain point - some obscure and secret boundary - a woman quite automatically became overwhelmed by a raging compulsion to complicate things. ↗

— David Eddings

#women #friendship