#humorous

Today I feel like I did tomorrow. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#comedy-humor #humor #humorist #humorous #humorous-quotes

Oh good Lord. She definitely hadn't put on enough deodorant for this. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humor

Are you by any chance acquainted with the words 'steel toe'? Or do the words 'permanent dent' mean anything to you?" My locker door is not intimidated. "My grandfather was a vault at Fort Knox, and if you try to dent me with a kick you will only tear some ligament that will never mend. ↗

— David Klass

#humor

If anyone wanted ter find out some stuff, all they’d have ter do would be ter follow the spiders. That’d lead ‘em right! That’s all I’m sayin’. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humorous-quotations #spiders #humor

I guess he believes if a lie is big enough and repeated often enough, it will be believed. ↗

— John McCain

#mccain-lies #political #humor

Ease off the martyr throttle. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor

I would never have broken up with you," I said earnestly. "I'm more miserable without you than I am with you." As soon as that sentence came out I groaned, because I knew how bad it sounded. But Declan laughed. "Vintage Simon Murray comment. ↗

— Sean Kennedy

#humor

Generally speaking, I try not to generalize. ↗

— Addison C. Arthur

#humorous #humorous-quotations #humorous-quotes #humor

Just Echo. ↗

— Jun Mochizuki

#echo #humorous #pandora-hearts #humor

I leave it to be settled, by whomsoever it may concern, whether the tendency of this work be altogether to recommend parental tyranny, or reward filial disobedience. ↗

— Jane Austen

#inside-jokes #humor