#irony

I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said. ↗

— Dave Matthes

#bastard #booze #comedy #conditioner #crack

Laughter and irony are at heart reminders that we are not prisoners in this world, but voyagers through it. ↗

— Eben Alexander III

#inspirational #irony #laughter #religion #world

What tale do you like best to hear?' 'Oh, I have not much choice! They generally run on the same theme - courtship; and promise to end in the same catastrophe - marriage. ↗

— Charlotte Brontë

#courtship #discord #disharmony #empowerment #gender

Jesus Christ was innocent too,' said Svejk, 'and all the same they crucified him. No one anywhere has ever worried about a man being innocent. Maul halten und weiter dienen ['Grin and bear it and get on with the job'] - as they used to tell us in the army. That's the best and finest thing of all. ↗

— Jaroslav Hašek

#inspirational #irony #svejk #inspirational

Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe. ↗

— Keith Caserta

#inspirational #irony-of-life #worry #worrying #humor

Christ has no body now on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours, Yours are the eyes through which to look out Christ's compassion to the world Yours are the feet with which he is to go about doing good; Yours are the hands with which he is to bless men now. ↗

— Teresa of Ávila

#religious-right #men

He was one of the most supremely stupid men I have ever met. He taught me a great deal. ↗

— John Fowles

#irony #men

Then Carrot said, "It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness, captain. That's what they say." "What?" Vimes sudden rage was like a thunderclap. "Who says that? When has that ever been true? It's never been true! It's the kind of thing people without power say to make it all seem less bloody awful, but it's just words, it never makes any difference - ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#quotes #men

She had a flower tattoo on her wrist; "What does that mean?" he asked her. "Absolutely nothing," she said, "it's just a flower. ↗

— C. JoyBell C.

#inspirational #life-and-living #sweet-irony #sweetness #tattoo

I BELIEVE EVERYONE IS SPECIAL . . . BUT SOME PEOPLE THINK . . . . IT'S JUST ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING NO-ONE IS ↗

— ASHISH RANJAN

#choice #focus #goal #happiness #humour