#humorous

(About sweeping).... What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humorous #ironic #irony #laughable #change

Quadruple crap. Why couldn’t I control myself? Why did he have this effect on me? “Are you compelling me right now?” To my surprise, his smile held an edge of sadness. “That would give you a much needed excuse, but I am afraid I am not.” Curse my body for reacting to his. As long as I kept him out of my heart, I would be okay. “I think it a bit too late for that, my dear.” “You’re using old man speak again.” I made a face. “It’s creepy.” He chuckled. “I’ll try to remember that, but I haven’t been around humans much in the past hundred years. It’s hard to keep up with the changes in common dialect.” “Let’s keep on topic, Jett. You were going to teach me how to control my mind. ↗

— Christie Rich

#change

This has always bothered me. If "Change" is the only constant how can we have absolutes? ↗

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

#change

There were two books I remember changing my life as a introverted, bookish 14 year old. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand and The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien. One was set in a fantastic world, populated by outlandish characters,tired prose, foul monsters, evil incarnate and a message about losing one's humanity. The other book was about hobbits. ↗

— Christopher Odell Homsley

#change

Holidays were invented so single women could overeat without feeling guilty. ↗

— Elizabeth Jane Howard

#humorous-quotes #diet

When you fall asleep after a big lunch you're really just saving up energy to work off all the calories later on. ↗

— Elizabeth Jane Howard

#exercises #humorous-quotes #diet

And if anyone asks, you're Chinese. The boy had nodded. "Chinese," he whispered. "I'm Chinese." "And I," said the girl, "am the Queen of Spain." "In your dreams," said the boy. "In my dreams," said the girl, "I'm the King. ↗

— Julie Otsuka

#thought-provoking #dreams

Men always want to be a woman’s first love. That is their clumsy vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about these things. What (women) like is to be a man’s last romance. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor

Follow Your Dreams, Except the One Where You’re at School in Your Underwear ↗

— Annabel Monaghan

#dreams

As a purely mathematical fact, people who sleep less live more. ↗

— Amy Chua

#humor