#drunk

I don’t reply. Surely Tucker wouldn’t bring someone back to a room knowing that I’ll be in the bed too, first shot. He wouldn’t do anything with her after last night, this morning and this afternoon, second shot. Although he is all over her and has been since we got here, third shot. Maybe I didn’t drop my knickers quick enough, fourth shot. He’s probably laughing at me for everything I told him about the dream and stuff I wince and slam the now empty jager bomb glass down. ↗

— R.S. Burnett

#hurting #dreams

Grant stood by me when I was crazy, and I stood by him when he was drunk, and now we stand by each other. ↗

— William Tecumseh Sherman

#drunk #each #grant #him #i

When I was little I would think of ways to kill my daddy. I would figure out this or that way and run it down through my head until it got easy. The way I liked best was letting go a poisonous spider in his bed. It would bite him and he'd be dead and swollen up and I would shudder to find him so. Of course I would call the rescue squad and tell them to come quick something's the matter with my daddy. When they come in the house I'm all in a state of shock and just don't know how to act what with two colored boys heaving my dead daddy onto a roller cot. I just stand in the door and look like I'm shaking all over. But I did not kill my daddy. He drank his own self to death the year after the County moved me out. I heard how they found him shut up in the house dead and everything. Next thing I know he's in the ground and the house is rented out to a family of four. All I did was wish him dead real hard every now and then. All I can say for a fact that I am better off now than when he was alive. ↗

— Kaye Gibbons

#drunk #poisonous-spider #death

To err is human. To errah is Kennedy. ↗

— James DeAcutis

#crooks #drunk #kennedy-family #family

Maybe some folks are alcoholics and others are just voluntary drunks. Maybe some folks drink due to body chemistry and others due to their lazy characters. Maybe some have drinking problems, while others have problems enough to drink. ↗

— George Jones

#drink #drunk #life #problems #life

I try not to laugh at the fact that even when she’s drunk, she has a hard time saying it. “Where do you want me to take you?” She drops her head back against my chest. “You can just keep carrying me. It’s very relaxing. ↗

— Jessica Sorensen

#funny #jessica-sorensen #kayden-and-callie #funny

Yeah, I got her,” Will confirms. “Who you got?” I ask. “You, drunk girl. Come on.” He turns to lead me toward the exit, and I start to follow him, but for some reason my feet don’t work very well. “Um, Will?” “Yeah?” “I lost my feet.” “What?” he laughs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I can’t find my feet.” Why is everyone laughing at me? This is serious! ↗

— Kristen Proby

#funny-as-hell #funny

I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#drunken-behaviour #humor #humor

Needy people are like newborns, I have come to realize. One intoxicated night and BAM! You are stuck with this problem. You finally take it home and it wants to keep you up all night and cries when it isn’t sucking on various parts of your anatomy. It wants you there for everything – rocking, feeding, burping, changing... It’s ridiculous. If I wanted a kid I would have one. Until then, grow the hell up and stand on your own two feet, you little crazy. ↗

— Chase Brooks

#drunk #humor #needy #relationships #change

We'd boil this whisky because we thought that would make it stronger. So we thought we were getting drunk, but in fact there'd be no alcohol left in it. ↗

— Neneh Cherry

#because #boil #drunk #fact #getting