#humorous

I can't help but think about things critically. Sometimes it can be a curse. What I wouldn't give every once in a while to be a blithering idiot skipping through life with shit in my pants like it's a goddamned party. ↗

— Justin Halpern

#life

I need some kind of... like... last minute, poorly-set-up deus ex machina!! ↗

— Bryan Lee O'Malley

#humor

She looked like a head-on collision between a fashion plate and a nightmare. ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#humor

Note to self-give serious thought to becoming an alcoholic. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humor

I jerk around and see Sister Dora, a portly woman who's the head cook in the kitchen, staring daggers at me. This is nothing new. She stares daggers at everyone who walks through the lunch line holding a tray, as though our needing sustenance is a personal affront. ↗

— Pittacus Lore

#humor

You've got better boobs," i acknowledged. And just as we'd done each time we'd had this boobs-versus-legs conversation, we looked down at our chests. Ogled. Compared. ↗

— Chloe Neill

#humor

If you had a piece of coal, we could hold her down, shove it up her ass, and come collect a big, fat diamond in a few days. ↗

— M. Leighton

#humor

I mean you ACRES of harm,' Dalrymple growled. 'Untold QUANTITIES of harm. I will visit a whole CONTINENT of harm upon you before we are through. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humorous #threats #what-the-hell #humor

As far as the Council is concerned, the U.S. Wardens are a bunch of mushrooms." "Eh?" "Kept in the dark and fed on bullshit. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor

There are all kinds of psychological disorders in the West that don't exist in Asia. ↗

— Amy Chua

#humor