#humorous

'Mr. and Mrs. Lowell are not receiving.' What the hell did that mean? 'I'm not throwing a forty-yard pass. I just have a few questions. I think their daughter is in danger.' ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor

But beauty, real beauty, ends where an intellectual expression begins. Intellect is in itself a mode of exaggeration, and destroys the harmony of any face. The moment one sits down to think, one becomes all nose, or all forehead, or something horrid. Look at the successful men in any of the learned professions. How perfectly hideous they are! Except, of course, in the Church. But then in the Church they don't think. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humorous #beauty

Smoking will probably kill me, but so will natural selection. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humorous-philosophy #humorous-quotations #humor

Didn't anyone tell you that size doesn't matter?" "Yes, but I told him to put his pants back on and go home. ↗

— Christine Warren

#humorous #humor

Oh, adorable, delicious Amelie. If I weren't so completely straight and enamored with cock, I would devour this sweet little tart. ↗

— Ella Dominguez

#humorous-quotations #humor

you don't know until you know! ↗

— Ruth Lizana-Jackson

#inspirational #thought-invoking #inspirational

There is no time to waste in life and there is no cut and paste as well, only copy and paste – you can only emulate others ↗

— Bernard Kelvin Clive

#life #motivational-humorous #dreams

You know, my main reaction to this money thing is that it's humorous, all the attention to it, because it's hardly the most insightful or valuable thing that's happened to me. ↗

— Steve Jobs

#because #happened #hardly #humorous #insightful

Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead. ↗

— Ashwin Sanghi

#chanakya-s-chant #humorous-quotations #humor

‎What a blight that woman is. Do you happen to know why? I lean toward a malignant fairy at her christening. ↗

— Mary Ann Shaffer

#humor