#humorous

Locavore?" But before he could answer, I figured it out. "Someone who eats food produced locally? As opposed to locovore, someone who eats crazy people? ↗

— Mari Donne

#food

As soon as a friendship passed a certain point - some obscure and secret boundary - a woman quite automatically became overwhelmed by a raging compulsion to complicate things. ↗

— David Eddings

#women #friendship

Ish #153 "Artificial plants grow best in artificial light. ↗

— Regina Griffin

#funny-quotes #humor #humorous #tags-funny-and-random #funny

Screw you," I told him in a low voice. "Are you offering?” "From what I've heard, there isn't much to screw," I shot back. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor

Why does everything so bad for you always taste so dreamy? ↗

— Colleen Houck

#humor

Citizen's arrest," he said. "Well, that, and Patch told me to. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#humor

He had a dashing smile. It nearly dashed right off his face. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor

Much slower, I turned around to see Vlad examining his fingernails, as if his hands weren't still ablaze in the flames that had blasted the ghoul's head off moments before. 'what the hell was that?' I gasped. 'Premature inflammation,' He replied. 'Happens sometimes. Very embarrassing, I don't like to talk about it.' ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#humor

I can be a regular bitch. Just try me. ↗

— Stieg Larsson

#humor

I have no clue. I have ovaries; therefore, I repel all things mechanical. ↗

— M. Leighton

#humor