#humorous

I can't help but think about things critically. Sometimes it can be a curse. What I wouldn't give every once in a while to be a blithering idiot skipping through life with shit in my pants like it's a goddamned party. ↗

— Justin Halpern

#life

If somebody tells me what to do, I will do my best not to do it. ↗

— Hiroko Sakai

#funny #humorous #independence #funny

Oh hell. They've got Mrs B in a bag! ↗

— L.J. Smith

#humor

No one is normal. Everyone is just pretending to be normal. ↗

— Alessandra Torre

#humorous-quotes #reality #humor

Old as carbon," Nix agreed. "And so powerful I'm working on my demigoddess badges. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#humor

I refuse to have a life partner who spends his days pretending to be on a BBC show. ↗

— Lisa Lutz

#humor

Hold up. How do you accidentally have sex with somebody?” Adina scoffed. “Is she all, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see your penis there’? ↗

— Libba Bray

#beauty

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you. (BUMPER STICKER) ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor

To-morrow I will begin," thought Katy, as she dropped asleep that night. How often we all do so! And what a pity it is that when morning comes and to-morrow is to-day, we so frequently wake up feeling quite differently; careless or impatient, and not a bit inclined to do the fine things we planned overnight. ↗

— Susan Coolidge

#procrastinating #family

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humorous #jace #funny