#humorous

Romeo, o Romeo, wherefore art thou o Romeo? ↗

— William Shakespeare

#art

It wasn’t until someone kicked his legs that Nik woke up. Alek, snoring beside him, his head resting on his shoulder. Ban snoring on the other couch, the noise rivaled only by the dog. He looked into the impossibly cranky face of Zach Sheridan. “Y’all get food?” “We had a full refrigerator before you three got here.” “Where I come from, we don’t let the refrigerator get empty.” “Where you come from, you marry your sister. ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#food

First month honey. . .Next month pie. . .Third month. . .Get out here and work, you damn bitch, same as I. ↗

— Karen Cecil Smith

#marriage-advice #marriage

There was a time when the one singular thing that held a marriage together was the threat of getting the kids. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#marriage

If only, I thought, I could talk to Eugene just one more time. This was before I came to understand that you cannot make someone fall in love with you But here's what you can do. By arguing and pleading and screaming and crying and throwing plates and phoning a lot and bringing hot food and sending flowers and buying gifts and doing unsolicited favors and remembering a birthday and being nice and declaring your abiding love and trying hard or sometimes merely by being present, you can make someone who was hitherto lukewarm really detest you. ↗

— Patricia Marx

#love #food

Look at Gleason in The Honeymooners. He was humorous but the way he lived wasn't really humorous. He was a bus driver. Who wants to be a bus driver? He didn't have any money and he was not famous. But despite that, the show is humorous. ↗

— George Thorogood

#bus #bus driver #despite #driver #famous

A Prince asked the dying spanish statesman, "Does your Excellency forgive all your enemies?" "I do not have to forgive all my enemies," answered the stateman, "I have had them all shot. ↗

— Robert Greene

#forgiveness

I really like the Observer. I think I'd love to have a column with a broad reach that would enable me to do some proper reporting, but keep it on sort of a humorous level. I've always had a very happy experience writing for them. ↗

— Toby Young

#broad #column #enable #experience #had

(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them? ↗

— Victor Borge

#fat #funny #humor #humorous #opera

He shifted his attention back to me and leaned in closer. “I told you to behave. I don’t want to have to arrest you ever again.” “Um . . . okay.” I felt him slide something under my hand. He leaned in even closer, his mouth by my ear, and whispered, “Although I wouldn’t mind handcuffing you.” Oh. My. God. ↗

— Robyn Peterman

#humorous #robyn-peterman #romance #romance-funny #sexy