#k

Claire, did I invite you to my barbeque?" Massie asked, her neck tilting to the right and her arms tightly crossed. "Huh? No. I mean, I don't know," Claire said. "Then why are you all up in my grill?" Massie said through her teeth. ↗

— Lisi Harrison

#humor #humor

In my world, I am one of the luckiest humans alive. ↗

— Alexander Dale Oen

#am #humans #i #i am #luckiest

I would have hated to been locked into music for the last 20 years and not been able to have a family. ↗

— Jerry Only

#been #family #hated #i #into

I've committed to nothing...and that's just suicide...by tiny, tiny increments. ↗

— Nick Hornby

#dark-humor #fiction #personal-insight #rob-gordon #humor

Our job in this life is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it. ↗

— Steven Pressfield

#creativity #inspiration #sociology #writing #art

I was very strict on that point. No devouring classmates." Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Other parents warn their kids not to talk to strangers. I had to warn mine not to eat them. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor

I have a black sense of humor. You try living my life, see what color yours turns. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#karen-marie-moning #humor

There'll be no more music, Father. But there'll be this!" He stepped into the dark, picked up the knife, and held it under their noses. "Go home. Tell your people what you saw and heard here tonight. And tell 'em that anyone we catch on these roads after dark anymore... this is what they'll get. Now that I know we're never to see the face o' God, we have nothing to lose. So, make sure you have your message right, Father, 'cause there'll be no other warning. ↗

— Eddie Lenihan

#faery #fairy #knife #music #warning

The problem with winter sports is that -- follow me closely here -- they generally take place in winter. ↗

— Dave Barry

#humor #ice-fishing #ice-skating #skiing #snow-camping

Give your kids a bloody knife and fork and let me put some fresh food in front of them they can eat. ↗

— Jamie Oliver

#eat #food #fork #fresh #fresh food