#k

Jason patted me on the back. “Tomorrow night we'll take you out chasing deer.” “I thought you'd chase cars,” I said. He grinned. “What fun is that? Cars don't bleed. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#werewolf-humor #humor

What did the Faerie that attacked you look like?" "Super creepy. Ripped jeans, weird tattoos, bad hair. And, come to think of it, really nice boots..." "Where?" "On his feet." Sonny winced and rubbed his temples. "Where were you attacked, Kelley?" "Okay, see...that was a joke. ↗

— Lesley Livingston

#faeries #humor #humor

This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut. ↗

— Daniel Handler

#cookies #humor #humor

There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open? ↗

— Woody Allen

#new-york-city #humor

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself-like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks. ↗

— Jean Kerr

#conversation #gender #humor #language #men

Invisible guns, huh?" Kenji smirks. "That's cute. I don't think I ever went through that phase. ↗

— Tahereh Mafi

#kenji #humor

If you cannot judge a book by its cover, surely we should not judge an author by one book alone? ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#authors #book #book-cover #books #criticism

Reading a novel after reading semiotic theory was like jogging empty-handed after jogging with hand weights. What exquisite guilt she felt, wickedly enjoying narrative! Madeleine felt safe with a nineteenth century novel. There were going to be people in it. Something was going to happen to them in a place resembling the world. Then too there were lots of weddings in Wharton and Austen. There were all kinds of irresistible gloomy men. ↗

— Jeffrey Eugenides

#literary-criticism #literary-theory #narrative #nineteenth-century #novels

And if you don’t think I can hold my own against all those eighteenth-century mortals you were out tagging, then you’re a fool, Casanova.” ... “Oh, yes, I know all about you.” He went still. “What are you talking about?” “I was alive back then. And all the Lore heard about the ruthless warlord brothers from Estonia. The general, the scholar, the enigma, and . . . the manwhore. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#fey #humor #immortals-after-dark #kresley-cole #paranormal-romance

So, that's it? You think I'm just some idiot that fell for your bullshit! Well you're wrong! I fell in love with you, Caleb. I fell in love with your sick sense of humor. I fell in love with the way you protected me. You saved my life!" - Livvie/Kitten ↗

— C.J. Roberts

#livvie #humor