#ka

I should stalk over there and pee around his table to stake my claim. Wait...what? Jeez, Kacey. ↗

— K.A. Tucker

#kacey-trent #funny

I don’t like to brag or frighten, but I’ve got a black belt. And a brown one, which I sometimes wear with black slacks. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #karate #funny

He'd once explained that when he was a boy his very proper parents had forbidden him and his brothers to curse in the house so 'feather buckets' was the young boys coded way of saying 'f*ck it ↗

— Kate Carlisle

#funny #kate-carlisle #funny

You can take charge, kick ass, do whatever you have to do and it's okay. You can blow people up. These are things that are okay for cartoon characters to do. ↗

— Joan Severance

#blow #cartoon #cartoon characters #characters #charge

You dumb asshole,” Ross said to Nate.“You could be a freakin’ amoeba and you’d still be a brother. And the only reason I’m not throwing a punch right now is because you had such a dipshit upbringing you don’t get that. ↗

— Karina Bliss

#karina-bliss #home

We have just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call 'misdirected rage'. I believe the technical term is being an ass. ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor #manga #natsuki-takaya #shigure #humor

I ripped my left arm out of his hand and slammed my elbow into his solar plexus. He exhaled in a gasp. I lunged for the dagger and sat on top of him, my knees pinning his arms, my dagger on his throat. He lay still. “I give up,” he said and smiled. “Your move.” Er. I was sitting atop the Beast Lord in my underwear, holding a knife to his throat. What the hell was my next move? ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate #humor

Did you read the part that says, 'Your hair is like a flock of goats'? How romantic is that? Or that other line, 'Your neck is like the tower of David.' Oh, now, that sounds real attractive! If some guy tried those lines on me, I'm sure I'd fall instantly in love with him. ↗

— Robin Jones Gunn

#christy-miller #humor #katie #pick-up-lines #humor

Rachel knew what she was doing. And when she didn't, she could improvise on the fly, coming up with options that left a lot of collateral damage but usually only hurt herself, not the people around her. It was one of the things he would never admit that he admired about her. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#into-the-woods #jenks #paranormal #rachel-morgan #romance

It's because you're like that that you're still a virgin, you know. ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor #kyo #manga #natsuki-takaya #uotani