#kate

You two were in a cave together?’ said Miss Simpkins in horror. ‘Yes,’ said Kate, ‘and it was very, very dark. ↗

— Kenneth Oppel

#funny #kate #kenneth-oppel #matt #romance

A shadow crossed Andrea's face. "I don't want to be his TWT-IHFB." "What does that mean?" "That Weird Thing I Haven't Fucked Before." I choked. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#kate-daniels #shapeshifter #vampyre #funny

So how's the putrid pile of caca doing? ↗

— Kate Carlisle

#kate-carlisle #robin #funny

Tension fled from me. Tomorrow I would worry about Hugh d’Ambray and Andrea and Roland, but now I was simply happy. Aaahh. Home. My place, my smells, my familiar rug under my feet, my kitchen, my Curran in the kitchen chair . . . Wait a damn minute. “You! ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate #home

Friendship is a strange animal. It only thrives in voluntary enjoyment of each other's company, in the pleasure of nonobligatory connection. I repeat: You owe me nothing. ↗

— Kate Christensen

#friendship #kate-christensen #love #lovejoy #the-astral

When I was little I bragged about my firefighting father: my father would go to heaven, because if he went to hell he would put out all the fires ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#father #firefighting #heaven #hell #humor

She swept away, putting an extra kink into her walk. I would not have thought that a woman with an ass that bony could make it wiggle so much but she proved me wrong. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate-daniels #humor

I hit him on the back of the neck. He submerged. Help. I've drowned the Beast Lord. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#drowning #humor #ilona-andrews #kate #magic-strikes

She had wailed loudly enough to wake the dead and make them call the cops. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate-daniels #humor

I clawed my eyes open and rolled off my bed. For some reason, someone had moved the floor several feet lower than I had expected, and I fell and crashed with a thud. Ow. A blond head popped over the side of the bed, and a familiar male voice asked, “Are you okay down there?” Curran. The Beast Lord was in my bed. No, wait a minute. I didn’t have a bed, because my insane aunt had destroyed my apartment. I was mated to the Beast Lord, which meant I was in the Keep, in Curran’s rooms, and in his bed. Our bed. Which was four feet high. Right. “Kate?” “I’m fine.” “Would you like me to install one of those child playground slides for you? ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate #humor