#ki

Nix and Emma: 'Looks like you just found a new talent.' 'Great. Why couldn't I be good at underwater origami or something? ↗

— Kresley Cole

#kresley-cole #nix-the-ever-knowing #nucking-futs-nix #funny

I guess it was what my friend Phoolendu at the yoga studio would call kismet. That's like fate, but much more dramatic. ↗

— Robin Palmer

#funny #kismet #funny

Your insult has offended me. If we were at the Peaks, we would have to duel in traditional alil'tiki'i fashion." "Which is what?" Teft asked. "With spears?" Rock laughed. "No, no. We upon the Peaks are not barbarians like you down here." "How then?" Kaladin asked, genuinely curious. "Well," Rock said, "is involving much mudbeer and singing." “How's that a duel?” "He who can still sing after the most drinks is winner. Plus, soon' everyone is so drunk that they forget what argument was about." Teft laughed. "Beats knives at dawn, I suppose. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#drinking #funny-quotes #funny

Don’t be too nice to him,” I teased. “He’ll never leave. ↗

— Juliet Blackwell

#funny #joking #kindness #funny

Get the point?" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile. Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast. "What? Sarcastic postkill comeback. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in situations like this? Too harsh? ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #gabriel #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

When the silent flamingo dances pink with desire, I’ll be there, sipping on owl stares and kitten curls. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #cats #curls #dance #dancing

An understanding washed over Darren. “You plan on me running.” “For many, many years.” The crooked smile on Trent’s mouth sent a shiver throughout my body. He was utterly dangerous when he wanted to be. - Vampyre Kisses ↗

— Elizabeth J. Kolodziej

#the-last-which-series #vampires #vampyre-kisses #werewolf #witches

His heart beat so rapidly it might burst; he kept telling himself everything was fine so long as he remained a giraffe. ↗

— Andrew Sturm

#funny #humor #kirkwood #project #funny

First bubble baths. Now Disney parks. You're shattering every creep vampire myth I've ever heard. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#kira #mencheres #myth #vampires #humor

We operate under the notion that America actually belongs to us Christians, and that we belong to it. We believe that the church and the state can make beautiful music together if only they would cooperate. We believe that the preaching of the Kingdom of God and the rallying around the red, white, and blue are always compatible. We believe the lie of the Serpent that we can hold to the sacrificial, life-giving, peace-pursuing, cheek-turning way of Christ and hold to the poisonous, domineering, power-hungry, least-of-these-abusing systems of the Empire. But this is impossible. ↗

— Ronnie McBrayer

#beauty