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Augusten Burroughs

Read through the most famous quotes from Augusten Burroughs

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

— Augusten Burroughs

#individuality #true

Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face.

— Augusten Burroughs

#humor #magical-thinking #humor

your mind is like an unsafe neighborhood; don't go there alone.

— Augusten Burroughs


Doctor, if being a bitch is healthy, then I am the healthiest damn woman on the face of the earth

— Augusten Burroughs


Just as I had long suspected, a person didn't really need math for anything anyway. Maybe some people did. Some limited people.

— Augusten Burroughs

#math #humor

Our lives are one endless stretch of misery punctuated by processed fast foods and the occasional crisis or amusing curiosity.

— Augusten Burroughs


Think of your head as an unsafe neighborhood; don't go there alone.

— Augusten Burroughs

#therapy #introspection

Sometimes when you work in advertising you'll get a product that's really garbage and you have to make it seem fantastic, something that is essential to the continued quality of life.

— Augusten Burroughs


And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.

— Augusten Burroughs

#drinking #humor #humor

Life would be fabric-softener, tuna-salad-on-white, PTA-meeting normal.

— Augusten Burroughs


About Augusten Burroughs

Augusten Burroughs Quotes

Did you know about Augusten Burroughs?

Some of his childhood experiences were chronicled in Running with Scissors (2002) which was later filmed. Burroughs divides time between New York City and Amherst Massachusetts. The Turcottes who alleged that Running with Scissors was largely fictional and written in a sensational manner sought damages of $2 million for invasion of privacy defamation and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Augusten Xon Burroughs (born October 23 1965 in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania) is an American writer known for his New York Times bestselling memoir Running with Scissors (2002).

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