#l

Mousedung! ↗

— Erin Hunter

#insults #put-downs #insult

I bet his mother was a wyvern. -Scamp ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#insult

My Lord, I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offense against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fir which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornement for a human face. Is it possible that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat? -Mandorallen ↗

— David Eddings

#the-belgariad #insult

I had a dream about you. You were old, and I was an infant, yet we looked identical. And probably because I knew you were going to die soon, I decided to kill you. I told myself it was the merciful thing to do, but secretly I knew the truth—I’d murdered you for your diapers. 
 ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I am for doing good to the poor, but...I think the best way of doing good to the poor, is not making them easy in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it. I observed...that the more public provisions were made for the poor, the less they provided for themselves, and of course became poorer. And, on the contrary, the less was done for them, the more they did for themselves, and became richer. ↗

— Benjamin Franklin

#government #observation

It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards,' says the White Queen to Alice. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#carroll #memory #poor

Me, poor man, my library Was dukedom large enough. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#poor

The road to hell is paved with adverbs. ↗

— Stephen King

#hell

I decided as long as I'm going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#ian #jamie #jared #melanie #uncle-jeb

Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#politics #hell