#l

I'm never going to believe a Poirot mystery again. Never. All those witnesses going, "Yes, I remember it was 3:06 p.m. exactly, because I glanced at the clock as I reached for the sugar tongs, and Lady Favisham was quite clearly sitting on the right-hand side of the fireplace." Bollocks. They have no idea where Lady Favisham was, they just don't want to admit it in front of Poirot. I'm amazed he gets anywhere. ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#humor #poirot #humor

As in music, when we hear the crescendo building, suddenly if the music stops, we begin to hear the silence as part of the music. ↗

— Chögyam Trungpa

#enlightenment #humor #music #silence #silent-music

If you'd just learn to do as I say from the beginning, I wouldn't have to follow up your errors with reproving smirks and repeated 'I told you so's. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#listening #richelle #richelle-goodrich #humor

Now I understand why King Stannis let the wildlings through the Wall. He means for us to eat them. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor #stannis-baratheon #wall #wildlings #humor

Drop something?" he asked, trying to suppress a smile but failing miserably at the act. I nodded and smiled back at him sheepishly, unable to find my voice to respond in any other way. "Interested in locks, I see," he commented. I nodded again. "Well, here you go," he said, and he handed the book to me. I nodded. Oh crap, why did I just nod? Take the book! I screamed inside my head. Take it! I took it slowly. He kept looking at me, smiling. ↗

— Markelle Grabo

#humor #love #nerves #humor

My Hallway" remarked Lord Akeldama,"Has never seen such lively action. And That, my sugarplums, is saying something! ↗

— Gail Carriger

#hyperbole #humor

Safety tip. When you see smoke run, never wait for fire. ↗

— Danielle Sibarium

#safety #humor

Turns out that once you kill a god, people want to talk to you. Paranormal insurance salesmen with special "godslayer" term life policies. Charlatan's with "godproof" armor and extraplanar safe houses for rent. But most notably, other gods... ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#good-humor #hyperbole #humor

If you meet an angel, you will have not peace, but a fever. ↗

— Stefano Benni

#fever #humor #peace #humor

I'm the first to admit that I don't write right. Now, relax and enjoy the show! The sideshow, that is. ↗

— Lori R. Lopez

#books #eccentric #humor #offbeat #quirky