#l

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#religion #humor

As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #optimism #solace #humor

Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly. ↗

— Mother Teresa

#inspirational #humor

Aren’t they supposed to be hiring someone else to train me full-time anyway?” “Yes,” he said, getting up and pulling her to her feet along with him,“ and I’m worried that if you get into the habit of making out with your instructors, you’ll wind up making out with him, too.” “ Don’t be sexist. They could find me a female instructor.” “In that case you have my permission to make out with her, as long as I can watch. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #humor #jace-lightwood #humor

Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love. ↗

— Mother Teresa

#can-do #great-love #great-things #inspirational #love

Lawful good to lawful evil!" said Simon, pleased. "He's quoting Dungeons and Dragons," said Clary. "Ignore him. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #simon #humor

You so need to lighten up about that potato-launcher incident," Butch said. Phury rolled his eyes and eased back in the banquette. "You broke my window." "Of course we did. V and I were aiming for it." "Twice." "Thus proving that he and I are outstanding marksmen. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #paranormal #romance #vampires #humor

Dan was thrilled that the second clue had been safely smuggled out of the church in his pants. "So, really, I saved the day," he decided. "Wait a minute," Amy said, "I climbed onto the roof in the middle of a thunderstorm." "Yeah, but the clue was in my pants. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#cahill #dan #humor #the #humor

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#emotion #friendship #honesty #imagination #individuality

The au pair was bug-eyed. "What happened back there?" "It's not our fault!" Dan babbled. "Those guys are crazy! They're like mini-Darth Vaders without the mask!" "They're Benedictine monks!" Nellie exclaimed. "They're men of peace! Most of them are under vows of silence!" "Yeah, well, not anymore," Dan told her. "They cursed us out pretty good. I don't know the language, but some things you don't have to translate. ↗

— Gordon Korman

#cursing #dan-cahill #humor #nellie-gomez #the