#la

If I have another child, I doubt I'll get married again. I don't think men particularly want to be with me. ↗

— Anna Nicole Smith

#another #child #doubt #get #get married

A female friend who caught me watching Fashion TV reckons its audience is largely made up of slobbering men who are just taking a break from the appalling Men & Motors channel. I don't agree. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#amp #appalling #audience #break #caught

Acting in a stage play is like working the evening shift in an office. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#evening #like #office #play #shift

An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#becomes #canvas #glamorous #masterpiece #uninspiring

Because comedy is cheap to put on: if you've got a play or an opera, there's a whole load of people and a set, but comedy is just one man or woman. And because TV has learned to love comics - there's so many more around now than when I started out. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#because #cheap #comedy #comics #got

Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#been #comedy #commandments #extent #hilarious

Global warming, the ongoing destruction of the planet, Third World debt, the uselessness of the railways, the takeover by the corporations, the scary George Bush person: all these things are important and should be animating me into outrage. Yet somehow they do not. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#bush #corporations #debt #destruction #george

I find it hilarious that there are academics who try to analyse chemical changes in the brains of students while exposing them to gags. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#analyse #brains #changes #chemical #exposing

I have a suspicion that a lot of artists are trying to get a laugh but, unlike stand-ups, they don't get an immediate response from their audience; a laugh is a rare thing in a gallery. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#audience #gallery #get #i #immediate

I see my large nose, like half an avocado. I broke it falling downstairs when I was six, and it now resembles a large blob of play-dough. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#downstairs #falling #half #i #i see