#la

Why is abbreviation such a long word? ↗

— Teresa Monachino

#funny #teresa-monachino #wordplay #words-fail-me #funny

You're lips are bloody.' He seized my face in both hands and kissed me. It's hard not to respond when a master of the art of kissing is laying one on you. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#eric-northman #kissing #living-dead-in-dallas #sookie-stackhouse #art

Revenge of the Giant Grill Man. ↗

— Joan Bauer ("Hope Yancey")

#self-explanatory #funny

They were exactly the same morons that laugh like hyenas in the movies at stuff that isn't funny. I swear to God, if I were a piano player or an actor or something and all those dopes thought I was terrific, I'd hate it. I wouldn't even want them to clap for me. People always clap for the wrong things. ↗

— J.D. Salinger

#morons #people #popularity #funny

A brick could be put on the end of a scale, to determine if the other end of the scale holds a lie or the truth. (Hint: The truth is much heavier than a brick.)
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

It’s complicated,” I said in defense, hands going up to show surrender. “Talk slowly,” Jenna retorted derisively. “Okay, I deserved that,” I admitted. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fantasy #fiction #funny #humor #jenna-moretti

Sorry I'm late," Ms. Egami said to the class. She dropped her papers, which scattered in that special way papers do when one is running late. ↗

— Adam Rex

#late #papers #school #teacher #funny

This was so unfunny, Steve had to laugh. ↗

— Mac Barnett

#laugh #unfunny #funny

I will call Guido if i need to ↗

— Amanda Stephan

#funny #guido #humor #laughing #funny

People usually feel funny, smile and laugh when I tell them about my strong belief in the very existence of prehistoric advanced technology and great civilizations of wilier races. I just can't wait to see their faces at time the truth is revealed. ↗

— Toba Beta

#ancient #civilization #mystery #prehistoric #reveal