#like

Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock. ↗

— Ben Hecht

#determine #going #hand #like #newspapers

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#backpack #being #bring #day #down

I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#again #beans #because #fried #fry

I don't know what goes on behind my back... I always feel like, if you don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything. ↗

— Amy Heckerling

#anything #back #behind #feel #goes

If you look at all the pictures of women in magazines, everybody's got a forehead that looks like a billboard. Completely blank. ↗

— Amy Heckerling

#blank #completely #everybody #forehead #got

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#like #pancake #syrup #trap #waffle

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#brain #brian #call #compliment #even

I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#i #like #more #more people #people

Sitting here now today, I can forgive a lot of the English people because it only takes a hand full of bad people to do something stupid like that and it can make the whole country look bad. ↗

— Marvin Hagler

#bad people #because #country #english #english people

'Dallas' hit a chord back in the late Seventies and Eighties because it was the age of greed: here you have this unapologetic character who is mean and nasty and ruthless and does it all with an evil grin. I think people related to JR back then because we all have someone we know exactly like him. Everyone in the world knows a JR. ↗

— Larry Hagman

#back #because #character #chord #dallas