#lit

There was a thing called Heaven; but all the same they used to drink enormous quantities of alcohol." ... "There was a thing called the soul and a thing called immortality." ... "But they used to take morphia and cocaine." ... "Two thousand pharmacologists and biochemists were subsidized in A.F. 178." ... "Six years later it was being produced commercially. The perfect drug." ... "Euphoric, narcotic, pleasantly hallucinant." ... "All the advantages of Christianity and alcohol; none of their defects." ... "Take a holiday from reality whenever you like, and come back without so much as a headache or a mythology." ... "Stability was practically assured. ↗

— Aldous Huxley

#happiness #huxley #society #stability #immortality

Yes!” He wrapped both arms around me, but when I tried to do the same he jumped away. “Watch the suit,” he said, glaring. Oh, boy. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#little-brothers #funny

The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone." Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way. ↗

— James Finn Garner

#funny #humor #little-red-riding-hood #politics #sexist

Another werewolf thing. Like most animals, we spent a large part of our lives engaged in the three Fs of basic survival. Feeding, fighting and... reproduction. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor #werewolves #humor

There are pockets of wealth in this country. Mostly those pockets are in the politicians’ pants. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#corrupt #corruption #country #funny #humor

But it's funny how the memory works and how sometimes we just belive whatever we want. ↗

— Chris Bohjalian

#reality #funny

Just because I look like John Wayne (at least my liver looks identical to his) doesn’t mean I play cowboy with politics. I’m going to vote for Philo T. Farnsworth for president, and so should you. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #politics #funny

In an out-of-body experience, your astral projection comes down to gloat. In insanity, your mind goes to a nudist colony. In philanthropy, your soul ascends to purgatory. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #insanity #philanthropy #experience

I wasn't really naked. I simply didn't have any clothes on. ↗

— Josephine Baker

#humor #literal-meaning #nakedness #realtivity #funny

Pops added,"you know, they say if you don't vote, you get the government you deserve." "And if you do, you never get the results you expected," (Katherine) replied. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#disappointments #election #elections #false-hope #funny