#lol

You give frequent flyer miles with that guilt trip? ↗

— Cecily White

#guilt #guilt-trip #lol #lol

I possess everyone who sleeps in the motor court, roam their memories, and embed recurrent nightmares that will destroy their sleep for weeks after I’ve departed them.” “I’d prefer a free continental breakfast. ↗

— Dean Koontz

#lol #lol

I got home from the FBi that day, put on my pajamas got a pint of Chunky Monkey, and watched 'The Notebook'. Five times. Everyone left me alone. I suspect they were a little afraid of me. I went up to my room and listened to Taylor Swift's 'White Horse' on replay, knowing she was the only person in the world who could relate. ↗

— Annabel Monaghan

#digit #farrah #lol #lol

She may be an uggo, but that dress would turn anyone into a rock star. ↗

— Victoria Scott

#lol #rude-thoughts #lol

Staring at her, his reasons are lost to me. ↗

— Victoria Scott

#lol #omgosh #lol

The stench that surrounded me suggested that the tarp over my face had been previously used either to transport fertiliser or as toilet paper. ↗

— Annabel Monaghan

#digit #lol #lol

For refusing to collapse into an earth-devouring black hole under the force of its own staggering density, we dedicate this book to Theodore Roosevelt's left testicle. ↗

— Cracked.com

#lol

I'm more lopsided than a one legged badger!" Graypaw stopped his careful stalking to wander comically across the clearing "I will have to settle for hunting stupid mice I shall just wander up to them, and sit on them until they surrender! ↗

— Erin Hunter

#lol #wariors #warrior-cats #lol

I could hear him laughing. Son of a bit*h. I would kill him. I didn't care if he was coyote or the son of Satan.He was a dead man walking. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#lol

I can't help but watch his lips as they cover the opening of the bottle that my lips were just touching. We're practically kissing. ↗

— Colleen Hoover

#kissing #lol #sky #lol