#m

The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#truthful #humor

I sometimes think I prefer suitors in books rather than right in front of me. How awful, backward, cowardly, and mentally warped that will be if it turns out to be true. ↗

— Mary Ann Shaffer

#humor

After a long silence, Dodge cleared his throat. "I think I speak for all of us when I say, 'Huh?'" -Dodge(obviously) ↗

— Frank Beddor

#cleared #confused #dodge #frank #glass

Even a manically depressed robot is better to talk to than nobody. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor

I disapprove of matrimony as a matter of principle.... Why should any independent, intelligent female choose to subject herself to the whims and tyrannies of a husband? I assure you, I have yet to meet a man as sensible as myself! (Amelia Peabody) ↗

— Elizabeth Peters

#humor #husbands #intelligence #intelligent #marriage

Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor

Wait, I want more green. I hope I did not imply I only wanted your colors. We can't turn a cold shoulder to green, and blue, and purple, for the sake of all ordered things, how can you dismiss purple? Celi, call Nom back and tell him of my need for purple! ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor

Lucifer's bouncing balls, Kitten, not again!" Uh-oh. I squirmed, instinctively also trying to block Tony's body from his view. As if that made him any less dead. "She was going to stab you," I said in my defense. "Look in her hand!" He was looking at the ground near my feet instead. "Him, too?" I nodded, sheepish. "He jumped me." Bones just stared. "You're not a woman," he said finally. "You're the Grim Reaper with red hair! ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#humor #humor

How did you kill the Ashman in the forest last year?” “I shot him with an arrow.” “What kind of arrow?” “A sharp one.” Nate rolled his eyes. “Really, dude? A sharp one? ↗

— Chelsea Fine

#humor

There's not even real *popularity* at my school." "That," Coli said emphatically, "is a sentence that has only ever been spoken by popular people. ↗

— John Green

#nerds #humor