#m

I know you’re rolling your eyes at me,” he murmurs, and I hear the trace of humor in his voice. ↗

— E.L. James

#christian-grey #humor #rolling-eyes #humor

I'm back... and you knew I was coming. On my way here I passed a cinema with the sign 'The Mummy Returns'. ↗

— Margaret Thatcher

#politics #humor

At the Feast of Fortune, she'll awaken, and the demigods will be cut down like-- like---" "Like our low prices at Bargain Mart!" Stheno suggested. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

As for you, Private, if you mention a word of this to anyone, I'll feed you to the cat thing here. Understand?" "Yum," said Mogget. "Yes, sir!" mumbled the telephone operator, his hands shaking as he tried to smother the burning wreckage of his switchboard with a fire blanket. ↗

— Garth Nix

#humor #humor

Wonderful," Garan grumbled when he'd gone. "We'll grow a reputation for our kindness to lawbreakers. ↗

— Kristin Cashore

#humor #humor

The patter of tentative footfalls reached my ears. I flipped on my side to face the door and saw Ansel wander by. I rolled onto my back, rubbing sleep from my eyes. I'd crashed on my bed as soons as I'd gotten back from school, collapsing under the weight of the day. The floorboards squeaked as Ansel passed by my door again. I caught his nervous glance in my direction before he hurried down the hall. 'Ansel, I'm not the sun; stop orbiting and get in here,' I called. ↗

— Andrea Cremer

#sun #humor

Dad himself used to tell a story about one time when Mother went off to fill a lecture engagement and left him in charge at home. When Mother returned, she asked him if everything had run smoothly. Didn't have any trouble except with that one over there,' he replied. 'But a spanking brought him into line.' Mother could handle any crisis without losing her composure. That's not one of ours, dear,' she said. 'He belongs next door. ↗

— Frank B. Gilbreth

#humor

Hard to call it a party without sardines. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#sardines #humor

Did I hurt your feelings again? Sorry. When this is all over I'll send some flowers to your inner child. ↗

— Richard Kadrey

#humor

Oh! I'm stupid as well as insane. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#humor