#m

She never saw the point of making fun of strangers – how could you possibly know enough about them to hit below the belt? ↗

— Daniel Marks

#humorous-quotations #sarcasm #humor

´Wonderful´, the Flatline said,´I never did like to do anything simple when I could do it ass-backwards.´ ↗

— William Gibson

#humor

The bat was looking at Theo and Theo was having trouble following his own thoughts.The bat was wearing tiny sunglasses.Ray Bans,Theo could see by the trademark in the corner of one lens."I'm sorry, Mr.,uh- Case, could you take the bat off your head.It's very distracting." Him." Pardon?" It's a him.Roberto.He no like the light. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #humor

SHUT UP!...PADDLE! ↗

— Ridley Pearson

#humor

That wasn't Josh Hartnett; that kid was eighteen years old," Kate said. I told you, they age slower out here. It's all the fresh California air," Val replied. Yes, because that's exactly what Los Angeles is known for," Kate said dryly. "Clean air. ↗

— Julie James

#humor #los-angeles #age

Sarah turned her narrow-eyed gaze on him, making me glad once more that Antimony's comic books got it wrong, and telepaths can't actually kill you with their brains. Give you a whopping headache and earworm you with annoying jingles, yes; kill you, no. (Although sometimes, when she's managed to stick "The Happy Banana Song" in my head for a week, I sort of wish she could kill people with her brain. It would be kinder.) ↗

— Seanan McGuire

#humor #telepathy #humor

The Goliath Corporation was to altruism what Genghis Khan was to soft furnishings. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#humor

He couldn't concentrate on anything while her incredible bottom led him up those stairs like the Pied Piper of tempting asses. ↗

— Nina Bangs

#humor

Without the Project I was nothing but a secretary on a road to nowhere, drifting toward frosted hair and menthol addiction. ↗

— Julie Powell

#humor #secretary #humor

Amigo! Amigo!" (Calling out to the ITALLIAN Prime minister....) ↗

— George W. Bush

#humor