#m

Help yourself to a bottle of wine. They’re all empty.
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— Jarod Kintz

#hospitality #humor #wine #funny

I was on my own at Wellesley, surrounded by a lot of young women who were motivated and intellectually curious. I started to read because I was required to do so for class, but I soon found myself enjoying the seclusion of the library. I came to see reading as an important way to learn about people, including myself. ↗

— Elisabeth Shue

#because #came #class #curious #enjoying

I am waiting for the decision, which is not depending of me, to know if the trial will be in Iraq, in the states, or in international court. Of course, the decision is not mine. ↗

— Jacques Verges

#course #court #decision #depending #i

Alan: "I had terrible stage fright." Sin: "I'm not familiar with the concept of 'stage fright.'" A: "It's pretty awful. You end up having to picture the entire audience in their underwear. Phyllis was in that audience, you know." S: "Why, Alan, I had no idea your tastes ran that way." A: "Phyllis is a very nice lady. And I do not consider her so much aged as matured, like a fine wine. But I still think you owe me an archery lesson. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#ya #age

So where does the name Adam's apple come from? Most people say that it is from the notion that this bump was caused by the forbidden fruit getting stuck in the throat of Adam in the Garden of Eden. There is a problem with this theory because some Hebrew scholars believe that the forbidden fruit was the pomegranate. The Koran claims that the forbidden fruit was a banana. So take your pick---Adam's apple, Adam's pomegranate, Adam's banana. Eve clearly chewed before swallowing. ↗

— Mark Leyner

#funny #humorous #irony #relationships #funny

Have you been reading those books that clueless illiterate Duja in charge of the lending library lets you borrow?’ ‘No, Ma.’ ‘Then what put you in mind of devils possessing nuns to take over the church? ↗

— Renita D'Silva

#humour #india #indian-fiction #women-s-fiction #funny

To change the world takes time; to change yourself takes courage. ↗

— R.S. Lowel

#positive-thinking #self-improvement #change

The election result is not a victory that belongs to me or my party. ↗

— Chen Shui-bian

#election #me #party #result #victory

We also intend to deal with the issue of incorporating basic human rights into our new constitution. ↗

— Chen Shui-bian

#basic #basic human rights #constitution #deal #human

A blanket could be used to fill in the blank.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny