#m

Every letter was a love letter. Of course, as love letters went, this one could have been better. It was not very promising, for instance, that Madeleine claimed not to want to see him for the next half-century. ↗

— Jeffrey Eugenides

#love-letter #humor

I'll bet I'm as old as you are." "I'm older than Sanskrit." "Well, I was waitress at the Last Supper." "I'm so old I remember when McDonald's had only sold a hundred burgers." "You win. ↗

— Tom Robbins

#humor

I thought of several alec smart remarks, but you should humor crazy people when you're at their mercy; it's a rule. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#chimera #narcissus-in-chains #humor

POKSI (Physically Okay but Socially Inept) ↗

— Jody Gehrman

#humor

What she means is, I might look like a pussy but I'm really a badass demon. ↗

— Jaye Wells

#humor #minion #silver-tongued-devil #humor

I huffed out a deep breath. “It’s something huge, isn’t it?” Beezle nodded. “Yup.” There was a sound of several limbs splashing in the water. “Is it all squishy and tentacly?” “Yup.” “I hate my life,” I said, and as I turned I conjured a ball of nightfire and threw it. ↗

— Christina Henry

#humor #humor

You are putting yourself in serious danger...' I think that I preferred to put myself in serious danger rather than confront my shame. My shame at not having become someone, the shame of not having made my parents proud after all the sacrifices they had made for me. The shame of having become a mediocre nihilist. ↗

— Marjane Satrapi

#memoir #young_adult #humor

I need you to go talk to a girl who may have some information about Emma." "Where is she?" "Someplace you're not going to want to go." (...) "I give up. Where?" "Institution 37." I felt a hitch in my breathing. I leaned back against the wall. "Could I pick hell instead? ↗

— Lissa Price

#humor

...quantum mechanics—the physics of our world—requires that you hold such pedestrian complaints in abeyance. ↗

— Brian Greene

#physics #quantum-mechanics #science #humor

No," I said finally. "Slowness in Answering," she said into the handheld. "When's the last time you slept?" "1940" I said promptly, which is the problem with Quickness in Answering. ↗

— Connie Willis

#humor