#ma

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#absolutely #absolutely nothing #behave #extraordinary #four

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#die #good #look #make #middle

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#anything #behavior #done #experience #feel

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#drunk #drunkenness #eve #get #holiday

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#benefits #divorce #elicit #ever #friends

Never fight an inanimate object. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#fight #inanimate #never #object

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#eat #exception #humans #like #only

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#how #make #mystery #stop #washington

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#christians #cows #dairy #fun #high

There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#brings #economic #economic system #encourages #growth