#ma

I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them during the long winter evenings. ↗

— Raymond Chandler

#humor #manners #philip-marlowe #put-downs #raymond-chandler

Sir. My lord. Master Roydon." The young man blurted out most available titles except for "Your Majesty" and "Prince of Darkness." These were implied nonetheless. ↗

— Deborah Harkness

#matthew-clairmot #humor

Did you let him know that if he can't see fit to return your blow job immediately, you will have no choice but to sue? ↗

— Meg Cabot

#inspirational #romance #humor

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#control-freaks #control-issues #cynic #cynical #cynical-humor

...When a man first awakens, it sometimes takes several moments before he starts thinking clearly." "And here I thought it took several years, perhaps a lifetime for the average man's intellect to kick in. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#gwen #humor #intellect #karen-marie-moning #kiss-of-the-highlander

When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#engagement #humor #jealousy #marriage #humor

A girl got a nosebleed, so I gave her a tampon and warned her about the responsibilities of womanhood. “You’re going to get a lot of guys trying to stick things up there,” I said. Now she’s a mouth breather. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #menstrual-cycles #nosebleeds #womanhood #funny

He set the suitcases in the back then tossed her the keys. "You drive." She repressed a smile as she climbed behind the wheel. "With each passing day, your reasons for wanting a wife become clearer. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#matchmaker #wife #humor

He pulled away the glove, and at the first glimpse of her fragile, white hand, all thoughts of negotiation fled. "I don't see how matters could become worse," he muttered. "I am already besotted with a needle-tongued, conceited, provoking ape leader of a lady." Her head jerked up. "Besotted? You're nothing like it. Vengeful is more like it. Spiteful. ↗

— Loretta Chase

#jessica-trent #romance #humor

I'm trying to keep your safe!" Puck exploded, whirling on me. His eyes feverish, and I shrank back. "This isn't a game, Meghan! The shit is about to hit the fan, and you're right in the middle of it without knowing enough to duck! ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#humor #humor