#mar

Who knew hitting my head and passing out would be so much fun? ↗

— P.C. Cast

#funny #humor #marked #funny

We rode the merry-go-round like a couple of lovers. We weren’t though; we were just two horse enthusiasts from two different worlds (I think she was from Mars).
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #fun-absurd #funny #horses #humor

An anniversary is the perfect time to celebrate all the missed opportunities to correct a mistake, and even take vows to renew it. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #love #marital-vows #funny

People who practice freedom of expression are terrorizing our grammatical way of life. ↗

— Bauvard

#freedom #funny #grammar #humor #terrorism

I know that man started animal husbandry thousands of years ago, and I think it’s disgusting. Men and animals should never be allowed to marry. Or have sex. And maybe not even engage in necking, unless it’s a man and a giraffe. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#disgusting #funny #marriage #funny

It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare, you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare." "And what is that nightmare, Craig?" "Life. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#life #nightmare #funny

Adam's hot Pheebs! Admit it girl. That body is like some kind of happy experiment. It's like he was manufactured in a nympho scientist's secret laboratory ↗

— Daniel Waters

#generation-dead #margi #experience

It was now twenty minutes past four in the morning, allowing for the fact that the clock in the library of his town house was four minutes slow, as it had been for as far back as he could remember. He eyed it with a frown of concentration. Now that he came to think about it, he must have it set right one of these days.Why should a clock be forced to go throught its entire existence four minutes behind the rest of the world? It was not logical.The trouble was though, that if the clock were suddenly right, he would be forever confused and arriving four minutes early -- or did he mena late? -- for meals and various other appointments. That would agitate his servants and cause consternation in the kitchen. It was probably better to leave the clock as it was. ↗

— Mary Balogh

#mary-balogh #romance #humor

Get off me you dirty turnip!" "Dirty turnip? well, pardon me Signor Cabbage-Head! ↗

— Elle Newmark

#funny #luciano #marco #funny

I didn't say what kind of book. You have a foul mind Bingley." "Don't mock me on my sister's wedding day!" "I mocked you on yours; I hardly see how this is as bad," was Darcy's reply. ↗

— Marsha Altman

#marsha-altman #mr-bingley #mr-darcy #funny