#me

Somebody said that I am the last American living the tragedy of Europe. ↗

— Ezra Pound

#american #europe #i #i am #last

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#account #bank #bank account #because #i

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#death #feeling #just #out #sin

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.' ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#her #how #i #lake #learned

I also like a great Caesar salad with anchovies, although I don't know why some places say 'with anchovies.' If you're making a proper Caesar salad, it's going to have anchovies. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#although #caesar #going #great #i

I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#called #club #comedy #comics #connection

I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#anywhere #because #come #first #flight

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#beautiful #beautiful thing #consider #horrible #i

I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#entire #entire life #harder #humor #i

I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#i #i love #key #lime #love