#me

It's amazing--my parents call everything a discussion. If I were standing across the street, firing a bazooka at my mother, while my father was launching mortar back at me, and Jeffery was charging down the driveway with a grenade in his teeth, my parents would say we should stop having this public "discussion". ↗

— Jordan Sonnenblick

#euphemism #humor #parents #humor

I'd never been a good damsel in distress. I was a "hands-on" damsel. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout

#humor #strength #strong #woman #women

Where. Is. He?" Alphonse repeated, although it sounded more like "Don't make me eat your face. ↗

— Karen Chance

#menace #humor

I disapprove of matrimony as a matter of principle.... Why should any independent, intelligent female choose to subject herself to the whims and tyrannies of a husband? I assure you, I have yet to meet a man as sensible as myself! (Amelia Peabody) ↗

— Elizabeth Peters

#humor #husbands #intelligence #intelligent #marriage

What you call idiot points, I call awesome dollars. ~Seth ↗

— Brandon Mull

#humor #humor

My God, Jack - with a look like that, you two should just get a room. And try not to pick the one with a dead body next to it this time. ↗

— Julie James

#julie-james #romance #something-about-you #humor

First rule of cleavage: it's not how low you go, but where and when you show. ↗

— Elisabeth Squires

#cleavage #elisabeth-dale #humor #style #women

Positive belief in yourself will give you the energy needed to conquer the world and this belief is the power behind all creation. ↗

— Stephen Richards

#mind-body-spirit #mind-power #money #motivational #new-age

I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar and often convincing. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor

If it turned out Brandon Stark also likes to dress up as Strwberry Shortcake while playing croquet with his miniture pony collection, I totally wouldn't be surprised anymore. ↗

— Meg Cabot

#meg-cabot #strawberry-shortcake #humor