#met

I like women, but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dog's name and then I asked, 'Does he bite?' and she said, 'No.' And I said, 'So how does he eat?' Liar! ↗

— Demetri Martin

#asked #big #bite #does #dog

I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#because #believe #breakfast #butter #eat

Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#confusing #die #fun #i #other

I love catching a snapshot of something that is just about to happen. Or maybe something that just happened, you know. But I like especially that just-before kind of feeling. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#catching #especially #feeling #happen #happened

I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#always #blush #first #hard #i

The odd thing about being a writer is you do tend to lose yourself in your books. Sometimes it seems like real life is flickering by and you're hardly a part of it. You remember the events in your books better than you remember the events that actually took place when you were writing them. ↗

— George R. R. Martin

#actually #being #better #books #events

Sexuality and sensuality are completely different things. Sensuality is something that you're born with. But sexuality is something I leave for my own mirror. ↗

— Ricky Martin

#completely #different #different things #i #leave

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. ↗

— Steve Martin

#crystal #get #hosting #i #like

The banjo is truly an American instrument, and it captures something about our past. ↗

— Steve Martin

#american #banjo #captures #instrument #our

Before I speak, I have something important to say. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#i #important #say #something #speak