#mo

We only came close to dying six or seven times, which I thought was pretty good. Once, I lost my grip and found myself dangling by one hand from a ledge fifty feet above the rocky surf. But I found another handhold and kept climbing. A minute later Annabeth hit a slippery patch of moss and her foot slipped. Fortunately, she found something else to put it against. Unfortunately, that something was mt face. "Sorry," she murmured. "S'okay," I grunted, though I'd never really wanted to know what Annabeth's sneaker tasted like. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

Chuck Parson did not participate in organized sports, because to do so would distract from his larger goal of his life: to one day be convicted of murder ↗

— John Green

#humor #humor

Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going to happen again. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor

After the satyrs filed in to dinner, the Hermes cabin brought up the rear. They were always the biggest cabin. Last summer it had been led by Luke, the guy who fought with Thalia and Annabeth on top of Half-Blood Hill. For a while, before Poseidon had claimed me, I'd lodged in the Hermes cabin. Luke had befriended me...and then he'd tried to kill me. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

Fine, I'll teach you,' 'Besides, there's only so many times a girl wants to fall on her butt in front of the boy she's out to impress. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#sky #humor

Embroidery?" I sucked at embroidery. Aunt Hyacinth had tried to teach me, but we'd both given it up as a lost cause.Lucy, strangely, had picked it up really quickly and embroidered a tapestry of Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow for my last birthday. ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#solange #vampire #humor

Across the room, she heard a loud clatter. She looked up to see that Roland ahd fallen out of his chair. The last time she'd glanced at him, he'd been leaning back on tw legs, and now it looked like gravity had finally won. As he stumbled to his feet, Arriane went to help him. She glanced over and offered a hurried wave. "He's okay!" she called cheerily. "Get up!" she whispered loudly to Roland. ↗

— Lauren Kate

#roland-humor #humor

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ↗

— Larry Lorenzoni

#statistics-humor #humor

Come on guys, you cant fight like this forever" "Actually," Simon said, raising his hand,"I can". Jace made a weird noise and I realized he was trying not to laugh-which by the way, wasn't working. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #mortal-instruments #simon-lewis #humor

This is a mournful discovery. 1)Those who agree with you are insane 2)Those who do not agree with you are in power. ↗

— Philip K. Dick

#paranoia #humor