#mo

Jef-f, Dun-Ham, dot com!! ↗

— Jeff Dunham

#jeff-dunham #humor

I'm still trying to decide how I feel about the fact that you knew about this before I did." "Don't be disappointed," Jack said. "The fact that I've been ridiculously proud of you for days doesn't change how excited you should be about this. Besides, I pretty much know everything. You should probably just start getting used to it." "And on that note, I'm hanging up," Cameron said. "Rushing me off so you can call Collin next?" Jack teased. "No" she said emphatically. Damn, he really did know everything. ↗

— Julie James

#julie-james #romance #something-about-you #change

George,” said Fred, “I think we’ve outgrown full-time education.” “Yeah, I’ve been feeling that way myself,” said George lightly. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#twins #weasley #education

Frowning, she looked up. "You can't want to ravish me every time we meet." Oh, yes, he could. Demon gritted his teeth... ↗

— Stephanie Laurens

#romance #humor

Whatever demon invented stiletto-heeled boots should roast in hell... ↗

— Cherise Sinclair

#humor #truth #humor

If it’s going to be two against one, make sure you aren’t the one. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humor

So you would literally take a bullet for me." "No," Claire said, with zero emotion. "No?" Ryan said, surprised at her answer. Claire rolled her eyes, annoyed that she had to answer. "If I have time to stand in the way of a bullet, you have time to move. ↗

— Jamie McGuire

#humor #humor

The Lone Ranger of vampires. Did that make me Tonto? ↗

— Robin McKinley

#lone-ranger #vampires #humor

I am the Wizard of Oz of housewives (in that I am both "Great and Terrible" and because I sometimes hide behind the curtains ↗

— Jenny Lawson

#humor #wizard-of-oz #humor

Rene looked at Grendel. “What in the world is that?” “That’s our mutant attack poodle,” I told her. “Is he chewing on a gun? ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor