#mo

You're a terrible cook, Daniel." "I know," he replied, "But it's the effort that counts." "I hope that's not the slogan for your dental practice. ↗

— Lisa Lutz

#humor

No, it's not a 'corpse thing.' I feel I lack the emotional capacity to deal with those in mourning... ↗

— Jen Lancaster

#humor

Girls at war opt for a quieter cruelty than fistfights and drive-by shootings. Girls circumvent the corporeal and go straight for each other's souls. The bleeding is harder to stanch. ↗

— Jillian Lauren

#humor #war #humor

ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#blacksmith #clothing #humor #war #humor

Mr. Dallstrom is a bald, scarecrow of a man with a poochy stomache. Think of a pregnant Abraham Lincoln. ↗

— Richard Paul Evans

#humor

A thousand thoughts ran through my mind. Well, at least six or seven, anyway, because a thousand thoughts are a lot. Try counting your own thoughts and see how long it takes you to get to a thousand. ↗

— Linda Howard

#humor

You must be mistaking me for someone else with silver hair. ↗

— Lisa Mantchev

#humor #silver #humor

That's your mom, right?" Pathik smiled. "She looks nicer than she did when she was dragging you away the other night. ↗

— Teri Hall

#mothers #pathik #teri-hall #the-line #humor

on why he writes the things he writes: "Because I have the heart of a small boy... and I keep it in a jar on my desk. ↗

— Stephen King

#on-writing #storytelling #humor

"Well-- I don’t know-- the cops might not respond too well to you looking through their windows with a telescope." ↗